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A married couple is at home. The wife is in the kitchen enjoying a cup of coffee, and the husband is in the living room reading a book. The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'.
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law.
You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have any kind of freaky sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?
The wife replied, 'The fuckin' funeral director would be my first guess.'
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"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
- George Carlin
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