[BrianR]

I'm stunned that no one has asked me yet.

ME! The resident perv and kinky old man.

I've been part of the D/s scene for over twenty years, at all levels. I've hobnobbed with the major players, minor ones and even the beginners. I've tried about everything I intend to (there ARE limits, even for me) and witnessed many things that squick me out.

I understand exactly what Treas is saying, even if it's not perfectly expressed. Her head seems to be screwed on straight and she has a healthy outlook on her fantasies. As long as they don't dominate her everyday existence, she will likely enjoy her experiences.

The dichotomy of power exchange is very difficult to articulate. The bottom has the power because s/he holds the ultimate veto and the Top is honor-bound to honor it. The Top holds the power because the bottom grants it, and can withdraw it at any time.

The bottom experiences pleasure by acting out his/her fantasy in a safe way. The Top gets his/her pleasure by being granted the power and allows the Top to act out a nice fantasy too. Sometimes that fantasy allows the bottom to pleasure the Top directly, but not always.

D/s is not the be all and end all of sex, much as ground beef and white bread are not the epitome of food. Sure, they are good and yummy and all, but they are enhanced by the addition of condiments and spices, no? D/s is a sexual "spice". I still enjoy regular sex, but once in a while it's fun to play and enjoy something different.

There are countless books and studies out there that attempt to define and pigeonhole perverts (I use the term in a good way) but none really hit the mark. Only those who have a positive experience of some flavor of D/s really understand.

And more of you have experimented than realize it!

A little slap and tickle in the bedroom? Love bites? Ever had him hold your hands over your head while you engage in intercourse? Then you've tried D/s. Ever done role-playing? Worn a costume of some kind in the bedroom? Even a blindfold? Yep! You too. Maybe you have whispered dirty words in your lovers' ear before or during the act. Still D/s. True, these things do not quite rise to the stratospheric levels of bullwhips, needles, torches, knives (see, I got them in somewhere!) and more extreme forms of play, but still they fall into that category.

Bet you didn't realize what you were doing, did you?

I once gave nearly the same speech on Philly After Midnight a few years ago. I still don't think I managed to communicate the nuances to the interviewer or the viewers. Maybe I should have used makeup. I did look a little washed-out and paler than usual. Oh well, too late now.

I entertain questions.

Brian