Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble
All of those scenarios can only happen if the spouse intends to keep attempting to cheat. If it's obvious the husband has no remorse for having hit on me, then yes, of course the friend needs to be told. But that whole adage "once a cheater, always a cheater" is just not always true. Some people truly have a momentary lapse in judgment, and the realization that they've risked everything is enough to scare them shitless and they never try it again. I've seen multiple marriages survive adultery with no relapse, and the other spouse didn't always know about it.
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The friend deserves to know. It is not for you to decide if that incident was inconsequential. It is between the friend and the spouse to work that out. If it was truly a momentary relapse, then let the spouse convince the friend of that. You do not have the right to make that choice for the friend. Just like you do not have the right to deny them the full honest truth.
For everyone involved, it is better to know immediately, even if it seems like it's so much worse at first.