[henry quirk]

i smoke

i've smoked with great dedication for YEARS

there are times when smoking a tobacco cigarette has been the only god damned thing to keep me going

i like smoking

this -- to some -- is a deplorable position to take

conventional wisdom, with all the dire warnings of health risks and whatnot, would have the average schmo steer far clear of cigarettes

to each his own

in my case: i like to smoke


now: about two weeks ago i quit cold turkey

i did so because the price of a pack is going through the roof

here, today, in the asshole of the nation (louisiana) the average price for my brand (marlboro red in the short box) is 'bout $4.15...this is up about 40 cents from what it was a couple or three weeks ago

my 'quit' was prompted by the price increase which -- according to my research -- has its roots in the cigarette companies looking to off-set the dollar increase slated to go in effect, nation-wide, april 1, 09


so: i quit -- in a manner of speaking -- in a huff


it was easy: the first 72 hours, as the nicotine left my system, i had few craving and those i did suffer were relatively mild

this is surprising since i've smoked a pack to two packs daily for over 20 years

and even now: the urges are mild

but -- in the cool analysis of the moment (nicotine-free) -- i'm going back to smoking


why?


because i miss it...i miss the cluster of behaviors that go along with smoking...i miss the scent of it...i miss holding fire between my fingers...i miss sitting on my stoop at 2 in the morning, surrounded by darkness, with only a burning cigarette as company


i like to smoke


i'm going back to smoking because of the way it -- smoking -- is intimately intertwined with my living...for example: i write, i research, i broadcast

as writer: the act is part and parcel of the smoke...i do the two things together

as researcher: the act is part and parcel of the smoke...i do the two things together

as broadcaster: my program is called 'coffee and cigarettes with henry quirk'…'nuff said


now: some of you (rabid, anti-pleasure, ratbastards, all) will point your bony fingers at me and crow, 'addict! you're fucking addict!'


no doubt of that


i, in my defense, say my addiction to this particular vice is on par with your 'addiction' to food

that is, we can generate two lists: 'needs' and 'wants…while cigarettes may fall into the sphere of 'want' for a great many, for me the cigarette is a 'need', as fundamental to my day-to-day living as air, water, and food


my ire, my irritation, is this...

with myself: for allowing economics to intrude into a sacred, regular, event

with an industry: for allowing the anti-folk to bulldog them, the manufacturers, into a corner

with a government (comprised of power hungry sons and daughters of bitches): for over-stepping and presuming/assuming a right to dictate my manner of living or dying

with a culture: for stagnating and stultifying into 'the only good life is a safe life'


not more than 30 minutes ago: i smoked my first cigarette since march 12, 09, and, my god, my god, IT WAS GOOD!


if i quit again, when i quit again: it'll be because of a reason idiosyncratic to 'me'...certainly not because of reasons vomited up on me by the well-intentioned or agenda-ridden

certainly: the almighty dollar will not play a role in my choice


there...i'm done... --henry