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The reality is that all I want control over are my OWN boundaries, and others are trespassing when they will not observe them. Who is trying to control who?
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Yes, but you SET your OWN boundaries. And when you live with someone else, you are bound to step on theirs and they are bound to step on yours. It's pretty inevitable.
Do you think you don't step on hers? I'll wager you have some really annoying habits.
We all do.