[Trilby]

ah, work stupidity. There is nothing sweeter. I've loads but my favorites come from food and medicine:

customer: "How big are the silver dollar pancakes?"

Customer: "Instead of toast, can I get the side of ham?"

Customer: "These eggs ain't scrambled, these eggs is cooked!"

Patient: "Why does my arm hurt?"
Me: (alarmed) "You haven't been using it, have you?"

Patient: "His fever is 105! I was going to give him tylenol, but I wanted you to see that his fever was this high!!"
Me: "Lady, I would've believed you." (child goes into seizures)

Me (to bipolar pt. on a manic high) "Do you have any special powers?"
Pt. "I know exactly what you're trying to do here and it won't work."
Me: "oh."
Pt. "yeah, the answer to that stupid question is WE ALL HAVE WINGS BUT SOME US DON'T KNOW WHYYYYYYY!"
Me: "Nice INXS impression"
Pt. "thanks!"

Me: "On a scale of 0-10, with zero being no pain, how much pain are you having?"
Pt. "well...[thinks hard]...it hurts."