The Cellar - View Single Post - Please excuse my emotional distance this week

Undertoad · 10-07-2003, 07:24 PM

lisa called me directly and we talked for a good hour... I am reconnecting to a lot of people.

Juju, I think now that this is just what happens in a divorce situation. I never understood it before; how can it be SO painful? Nobody dies, people are just trying to improve on life's situation.

But it's the emotional bonds that make it painful - take any non-marital breakup you've had, and multiply it by ten.

At the same time, I've written a longer version of the story to a few people, and I've told the longer version on the phone to about 6 people, and the big picture coalesces.

Practically every thought I've had for 11 years and in the 5 years before that when we were going out, has been with her involved in some way. What we're doing tomorrow, next week, next month is always with the other in mind. Now suddenly it's not, and everything around me is another little reminder that things are different now, and I'm confused. I sit in the chair she picked out, pet the dogs we raised, consider watching the show we were gonna watch.

Thr future we were going to have, that now only confuses me. Will I make it? Will it be incredibly painfully lonely? Maybe it won't! But it becomes more terrifying because of the confusion.

I don't see much of a response to this, and I write it because you asked and I think people may find it interesting. And maybe not a road accident sort of interesting. I just put it out there, there it is...

10-07-2003, 07:24 PM	#59
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	lisa called me directly and we talked for a good hour... I am reconnecting to a lot of people. Juju, I think now that this is just what happens in a divorce situation. I never understood it before; how can it be SO painful? Nobody dies, people are just trying to improve on life's situation. But it's the emotional bonds that make it painful - take any non-marital breakup you've had, and multiply it by ten. At the same time, I've written a longer version of the story to a few people, and I've told the longer version on the phone to about 6 people, and the big picture coalesces. Practically every thought I've had for 11 years and in the 5 years before that when we were going out, has been with her involved in some way. What we're doing tomorrow, next week, next month is always with the other in mind. Now suddenly it's not, and everything around me is another little reminder that things are different now, and I'm confused. I sit in the chair she picked out, pet the dogs we raised, consider watching the show we were gonna watch. Thr future we were going to have, that now only confuses me. Will I make it? Will it be incredibly painfully lonely? Maybe it won't! But it becomes more terrifying because of the confusion. I don't see much of a response to this, and I write it because you asked and I think people may find it interesting. And maybe not a road accident sort of interesting. I just put it out there, there it is...