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You could kill a moose, have its head stuffed, and have it mounted on your thingy. Then you can walk around and people will be afraid because at first they'll think there's a really short moose coming at them, then they'll see it's you and laugh and say "Oh, it's just Mr Moose."
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice.
--Bill Cosby
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