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Me: Aging and Adult Protective Services, how may I help you?
Cop: Yeah, this is Officer (name obscured) from (ritzy neighborhood) Township PD.
Me: What's going on.
Cop: We got called out by this little old lady. She was complaining about the neighborhood children damaging her property.
Me: And you're calling Aging and Adult Protective Services, why?
Cop: Well, she told us that the kids come around her house every year, and they have this green spray. They spray it on the leaves of her trees, damaging them. It gradually turns them brown.
Me: The caseworker will be out to see her within the hour.
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