Something I've always wondered about this: from what I've seen, they've always tried to push the whales back in. Why not use a large scale 'vacuum cleaner' to suck the sand from underneath? This should allow the ocean to flow under the beastie (no insult intended). Might not get him/her to leave the beach but it might be something...
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Jesus got it wrong by one letter:
The Geek shall inherit the earth...
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