[Aliantha]

I'm not a step parent myself, but Dazza (my husband is). He is a pretty good step parent I think, and my two older boys love him as if he were their own father, even though he didn't come into their lives till they were in school. Their bio father is pretty unreliable (and always was which is why we separated in large part), but Dazza and I have just gotten used to being happy for the boys when they get to see their Dad, but none of us worries too much about when he's not around simply because we've grown used to that being the norm. We have a pretty good relationship with him though, which helps the kids feel more secure about their feelings for all of us.

I'm really glad that Dazza is so patient with us all. It's a huge burden taking on a step family, but it can work out if everyone wants it to, and for us, it's been great.

eta: I thought I should mention that we have issues just like any other family, and of course the kids step out of line every now and then. When that happens, usually Dazza and I discuss the punishment, but I'm the one who delivers the verdict and does most of the talking about why. I think this helps with the whole step family thing and reduces any conflict arising from 'you're not my father' type accusations, which fortunately we've never had to hear.