[xoxoxoBruce]

· I’m living next door to a Lebanese couple at the moment. They have 3 little kids and they’ve challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I’m just writing to you while the kettle boils!

· Can you spare just $2? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia . He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video – its fucking hilarious.

· I’ve caught a stray parrot in my garden. All he says is, "good morning you ugly prick?" It’s not yours is it?

· I’m sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful.

· Been to the optometrist today – he told me I was color blind. I’m fuckin' worried now that some of my buddies could be black.
If you are, can you delete my e-mail address?

· There’s a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market: Trycoxagain.

· I failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells.
Apparently, Latinos and black rapists is not the correct answer.