The Cellar - View Single Post - The Shitjob Chronicles - my personal tales of working with bumfuks

slang · 12-12-2003, 06:21 PM

Don't you know your name?

Much of the work we do each night is done with pairs of people. The normal molding equipment is heavy and 2 people are encouraged to handle it. The average item to be lifted and carried is a frame of fiberglass and angle iron about 4 ft by 2 1/2 ft by 1 foot. These weigh 78 lbs. The worker needs to walk them about 20 feet down the line every 2 to 3 minutes and stack them in a pile. There are lighter and heavier similar items to be lifted in the normal course of making sinks. The heaviest is 200 lbs, and the lightest is about 35. In addition to the equipment, the sinks themselves have to be put onto the conveyor belt, and into the grinder. It's a lot of lifting, no matter how you look at it, and you find yourself asking for help, waiting for someone, or helping someone all through the night.

Most of the time I work right down the line from HoseMan. I call him HoseMan because he uses the high pressure hose (120 psi) to blow debris from the molds and because he is always after the few females at the plant. He's also been known to have a certain woman from the shop "check out his hose" while inside her car, after dark during break.

HoseMan is about 5-10, #230 with a shaved head and a great attitude. He's a great worker and we joke about MarineGuy when he marches around telling everyone what to do. HoseMan is working at the plant to satisfy a probation order that he be employed, a stipulation of his release from prison on a cocaine possession charge. It really surprises me that HoseMan has such a past. He's a conscientious and consistent worker, but by his own admission, only because of the court order.

If I were to catagorize anyone at the plant as a pal, it'd be HoseMan. I get along with the entire crew but just not consistently. HoseMan is the most likely to cover for you while you take care of other business and knows how to to tell a joke and mock people without starting real fights. There are several funny people here but HoseMan is the funniest.

On this particular shift he was working at putting the sinks on the conveyor, which is a tough job. It's a lot of lifting which he normally does by himself but probably should not be.

This is the diolog between us after he yelled at me several times for help.

HoseMan: HEY! Dont you know your own fucking name?
slang: Huh...oohh, sorry. I've not answered to that name for years. Hell, most people dont even know what my real name is.
HoseMan: Well what do you answer to? HEY DUMBASS?!
slang: well actually, I'd prefer a loud "hey" followed by a finger point to what you'd like my help lifting. Thats what I do.
HoseMan: Whatever.

Then about 15 minutes later the same thing happened again.

HoseMan: (walks about 20 feet over to me) Mister "HEY"? Can I please have your help for a minute?
slang: Sure, but you did that wrong. It'd be quicker for both of us if you'd say ...."HEY" , then point to what you want help with, you dont need to walk down here every time you need help.

So this went on for about another hour or so and then HoseMan asked me;

HoseMan: So what do they call you outside of work here? What fancy pants, better than all of us name are you called? Sir (slang's real name)? King (slang's real name)?
slang: No, it's a long story dude. I dont like my birthname so I shitcanned it years ago. Since I call you HoseMan, why not just call me ClampMan?
HoseMan: Your real name is Gaylord Focker, isn't it!?........ Isnt it!!
slang: No. It's ClampMan, can we get beyond this?
HoseMan: OK GAY FUCKER!!! (points to a sink to be lifted) lol Have it your way.

12-12-2003, 06:21 PM	#3
slang St Petersburg, Florida Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,423	Don't you know your name? Much of the work we do each night is done with pairs of people. The normal molding equipment is heavy and 2 people are encouraged to handle it. The average item to be lifted and carried is a frame of fiberglass and angle iron about 4 ft by 2 1/2 ft by 1 foot. These weigh 78 lbs. The worker needs to walk them about 20 feet down the line every 2 to 3 minutes and stack them in a pile. There are lighter and heavier similar items to be lifted in the normal course of making sinks. The heaviest is 200 lbs, and the lightest is about 35. In addition to the equipment, the sinks themselves have to be put onto the conveyor belt, and into the grinder. It's a lot of lifting, no matter how you look at it, and you find yourself asking for help, waiting for someone, or helping someone all through the night. Most of the time I work right down the line from HoseMan. I call him HoseMan because he uses the high pressure hose (120 psi) to blow debris from the molds and because he is always after the few females at the plant. He's also been known to have a certain woman from the shop "check out his hose" while inside her car, after dark during break. HoseMan is about 5-10, #230 with a shaved head and a great attitude. He's a great worker and we joke about MarineGuy when he marches around telling everyone what to do. HoseMan is working at the plant to satisfy a probation order that he be employed, a stipulation of his release from prison on a cocaine possession charge. It really surprises me that HoseMan has such a past. He's a conscientious and consistent worker, but by his own admission, only because of the court order. If I were to catagorize anyone at the plant as a pal, it'd be HoseMan. I get along with the entire crew but just not consistently. HoseMan is the most likely to cover for you while you take care of other business and knows how to to tell a joke and mock people without starting real fights. There are several funny people here but HoseMan is the funniest. On this particular shift he was working at putting the sinks on the conveyor, which is a tough job. It's a lot of lifting which he normally does by himself but probably should not be. This is the diolog between us after he yelled at me several times for help. HoseMan: HEY! Dont you know your own fucking name? slang: Huh...oohh, sorry. I've not answered to that name for years. Hell, most people dont even know what my real name is. HoseMan: Well what do you answer to? HEY DUMBASS?! slang: well actually, I'd prefer a loud "hey" followed by a finger point to what you'd like my help lifting. Thats what I do. HoseMan: Whatever. Then about 15 minutes later the same thing happened again. HoseMan: (walks about 20 feet over to me) Mister "HEY"? Can I please have your help for a minute? slang: Sure, but you did that wrong. It'd be quicker for both of us if you'd say ...."HEY" , then point to what you want help with, you dont need to walk down here every time you need help. So this went on for about another hour or so and then HoseMan asked me; HoseMan: So what do they call you outside of work here? What fancy pants, better than all of us name are you called? Sir (slang's real name)? King (slang's real name)? slang: No, it's a long story dude. I dont like my birthname so I shitcanned it years ago. Since I call you HoseMan, why not just call me ClampMan? HoseMan: Your real name is Gaylord Focker, isn't it!?........ Isnt it!! slang: No. It's ClampMan, can we get beyond this? HoseMan: OK GAY FUCKER!!! (points to a sink to be lifted) lol Have it your way.