[Bogart]

It's refreshing to know that you don't have to trowel the underbelly of society to find truly weird news. Sometimes it lands in your lap courtesy of that American elite; Hollyweird.

So what about Randy Quaid? What went wrong here, and how did he manage to find a soulmate to join him in this death-spiral?

I'm only vaguely acquainted with the original media attention. Something I read in passing about his running out on a bill, vandalism and hanging out in a home he had sold and no longer had claim to.

This isn't completely surprising, odd, but I'm accustomed to the odd eccentricity of stars. Especially when fueled by a proper dose of alcohol, drugs, or general mental decline. Even running up to Canada to skip out on a bill I am fairly certain he could have just quietly paid and retained some dignity. But now this?

There, the pair — who were arrested a day earlier on outstanding U.S. warrants — told an adjudicator that the actor has had eight close friends murdered in recent years, adding they fear that they could be next.

In a handwritten note, shown to media by their Vancouver-based lawyer, Brian Tsuji, the couple said: "Yes we are requesting asylum from Hollywood 'STAR WHACKERS.'"

Those Quaid counts among his "murdered" friends include actors Heath Ledger and David Carradine.

Arrested Hollywood star Randy Quaid and wife fear 'star whackers,' seek refugee status in Canada

Now, Ledger was a rising star, Carradine was managing a decent comeback lately, but I have to assume that some conspiracy would mean that they all had something shared in common that would make them a target. Their demises aren't even in alphabetical order.

I can think of at least a dozen other stars more deserving of being targeted by "STAR WHACKERS". While Ledger and Quaid shared a role in Brokeback Mountain, Carradine didn't. It would have been nice had they included a slightly longer list. After all, even a delusion has some base, but to create a shared delusion one would think would it would have to have a better grounding.

Other tidbits are that Quaid has lots of "beard" and drives a 10 year old Camry. I guess the latter either implies he's a poor handler of his money, or rather conservative in his spending.

"He didn't look like one of those (Hollywood) guys. He had lots of beard and his car had lots of junk in the back," said Hank Ew of Bill Chow Jewellers who described Quaid's car as a 10 year-old dark-coloured Toyota packed with personal belongings.

Quiet Vancouver neighbourhood privy to bizarre Randy Quaid arrest

After Mel Gibson I think that having lots of beard is now par for the course when you begin your decent.

Apparently Quaid was also banned for life from Actors' Equity Association and fined $81,572 stemming from complaints by all 26 members of the cast of "Lone Star Love". You can piss off some of the people some of the time, but to piss off all the people all of the time shows extraordinary effort.

I don't know what to make of that, but it did give rise to this most excellent quote:

Quaid said, "I am guilty of only one thing: Giving a performance that elicited a response so deeply felt by the actors and producers with little experience of my creative process that they actually think I am Falstaff."

Randy Quaid fined, banned for life by actors' union over Seattle imbroglio

You gotta love the bravado.

But now we get this:

"I would not do anything to besmirch my reputation any further than it has been," the actor said.

"I'm trying to do damage control."

uhh... traveling around getting arrested, missing court dates, fleeing the country and then proclaiming yourself the victim of a shadowy group murdering fellow actors isn't the best PR.

But then again, what do I know? He's got a lot to compete with these days. If the old adage, "Any publicity is good publicity", then Britney Spears surely upped the ante quite a bit.

Now, most of the pathos of the stars is just plain boring. I wouldn't know who Lohan or Hilton were except their latest escapades constantly being forced upon me. OJ and Robert Blake had to kill someone to get noticed, so I guess they're counted as worthy. Walking on a murder charge is also noteworthy. Never the less, I have to now wonder; just what has happened to Randy Quaid?