[xoxoxoBruce]

Paddy is passing by Dan’s barn one day when through a gap in the door he sees Donald doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson.

Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right rubber boot, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his suspenders fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers.

Grabbing both sides of his checkered shirt he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay.

‘What on earth are you doing Dan’, says Paddy.

‘Jayzuz Paddy, ye frightened the livin’ shit out of me’ says an obviously embarrassed Donald.

‘Me and the missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.’