Like sands through the hourglass....
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do y'all think he's cheating?
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Um hellooo??!? You just described about 10 paragraphs worth of his cheating....even if it hasn't gotten sexual yet, it's still cheating.
Personally I'd want to kill the other party, so I'd say, um..no.
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What steps should she take?
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Dump his sorry ass...doesn't sound like he'll "get" anything else. Of course she can take him back later, once he knows she's serious and it won't be fucking tolerated, even a little bit.
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Any good revenge advice to get rid of this interloper?
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Get pictures, mail them to her hubby, friends, parents, grandparents, employer, etc.
Oh yeah, and I agree, it's their business, stay out of it.