[Lady Sidhe]

>>Sounds like an "Oh it was all peachy till SHE showed up."

Actually, it kinda was. You don't understand. These people are two sides of the same coin....if she were a man, she'd be him, and vice-versa. They were best friends, and EVERYONE was jealous of them.

>>The whole time you act as if your friend behaved perfectly. I'm sorry but had I been in his position I'd have walked out the day my wife started spying on me and looking at my ICQ account.

She never claims that she has no fault in this. As a matter of fact, she makes a point of saying that she knows that her depression can be difficult to deal with, and always asks if we think she's overreacting. When he told her he wanted her to "lighten up" as he put it, she tried, and she did well covering up her depression and not exposing him to it, but it didn't seem to make a difference.


>>First of all. Buying cigarettes IS pissing away money. The wireless keyboard is still there, cigarettes would've been gone.

You sound exactly like him. But he knew she smoked when they got married, and it was never an issue. The point here is that he claims they're broke, but he always has enough money for his toys.

>>Does your friend work? If not, she can respectably stfu. If she does work, she has every right to be pissed off about idiotic and uncooperative spending on the part of her husband. I don't buy anything over $100 without consulting with my gf.

Yes, she works, and at a very stressful job that she hates. She took it because she had to take what she could get, and she's even looking for something better while she's at this job. Whereas her husband turned down work because it was "beneath him"--yes, he said that, to me, as a matter of fact-- while she was working in a dangerous job while PREGNANT (she worked until her ninth month, and he never lifted a finger to help her). Her husband doesn't make enough money for the bills, so she's responsible for most of them. They go in together on rent, but she usually pays the utilities. The only money she spends on herself is for cigarettes.

>>LOTR - Not HIS fault that they couldn't get a babysitter. Lame that he went alone. Still not 100% his fault.

The point there is that he said he spent money they didn't have so that they could do something TOGETHER. But it wasn't for THEM....it was for HIM. He could've given a shit less that she wasn't able to go. And he didn't say, "bring the baby, so we can do this together."


>>Just because he hit on a girl who said "Hell NO" does not AT ALL mean that he'll spread the legs of everything that says "Hell YES!". There's a certain degree of a challage to a girl who says "Hell No" but it seems more like another attempt at a crush from the past. It's very likley that he was just 'trying to get it out of his system'. As much as I love my gf I do find myself wondering what 'might have been' and often am curious to know what girls that I was fond of in the past 'really' thought of me.

Oh, come ON....if your wife hit on your best friend and tried to undress him after he'd told her "Not no, but HELL no" would you just blow it off? I mean, hitting on a stranger is bad enough, but hitting on your wife's best friend is a slap in the face, because there's no way in hell it isn't going to get back to her, and you know it. The point is that he didn't give a flying flock how it would affect his wife when it did, and he blew off her feelings when she confronted him about it. And his past proves that he WILL sleep with a woman if she offers.


>>Oh and "goes out twice a week"? Whoop die doo...
The whole " he begrudges her time with her friends" sounds more like:
Her: You go out so often!
Him: You spend plenty of time with your friends too!
Who's begrudging whom here? Both. Good.
It's not a double standart if both parties are being immature jerks about it.

He goes out twice a week and stays out till three in the morning. She sees her friends maybe once a month. Her best friend stays away because she doesn't want anything to do with the man who tried to take her clothes off, and the rest of them stay away because they don't want to cause her trouble, since he's a jerk when they're there. And she says absolutely nothing about him going out. She gives him a lot of freedom. All she asks is that if he's going to be gone when she gets home, to leave her a note so she'll know where he is and when he'll be home so she won't worry. He never does.

>>You're not asking for help though. You came here to trash the guy. You make it sound like his suspicious insecure wife is an angel whom he so horribly mistreats.

Let's look at the facts:

He hit on her best friend, tried to take her clothes off, then blew off the fact that his wife was hurt about it.

He hangs out with another girl, lets her hang all over him, while he ignores his wife and blows off her feelings about him spending time with another woman instead of her.

He spends money on whatever he wants, but begrudges her her only vice.

He makes promises he never keeps, like when he promised to help around the house when she got a job. Babe, that grass hasn't been mowed in six months. They could shoot wild kingdom in their front yard. He keeps saying he'll do it, but always finds an excuse not to.

Instead of being there for his wife, like she was for him when things went wrong in his life, he rolls his eyes when she tries to talk to him, ignores her when she wants to spend time with him, doesn't help her around the house, wants her to get rid of her friends, but doesn't give her anything as a replacement, like spending more time with her.

>>Maybe they were always together in the past becasue he didn't have to deal with her being suspicious of him and depressed the whole time? Maybe he spends less time at home because when he is home he gets lectured about "HER". Maybe he hangs out with "HER" because she doesn't lecture him. Maybe your friend no longer is willing to hang from his arm because she's pissed at him for no good reason and thus he's not at all upset about HER hanging from his arm.

She never had a reason to be suspicious until he hit on her best friend. She defended him against people who knew him a lot better than she did, and warned her about his habits...She doesn't lecture him. She tries to talk to him to find out why he's doing these things. And honey, my friend would LOVE to hang on his arm again...that's how they always used to walk...

I'm dead in the middle of this. I hear it from both of them. I'm friends with both of them. And let me tell you...she's not an angel, and doesn't claim to be. But she loves him with all her heart, and is trying her damndest to work this out. He isn't. He doesn't think he's wrong for his spending habits, hanging out with his friends while telling her to get rid of hers, and hitting on her best friend (he never apologized for that, never acknowledged that she had a right to be hurt over it. He doesn't think he was in the wrong for trying to take her best friend's clothes off), and hanging out with other women. He wants it all his way, and he told me straight out "she's going to have a hard time convincing me I need to change anything."

>>There is WAY more to this than you know and than your friend is willing to admit.

I'm merely relaying what I see and what I'm told (by both of them). The thing is, whenever she does something to please him, he always wants more. First, he wanted her to lighten up, so she did. Didn't do any good. She cut back on smoking so as not to spend more money, didn't do any good...he still spends money on toys. From what he said before he bought the LOTR tickets, they were out of money. Yet he spent $50 on MOVIE TICKETS, and while he was there, bought a LOTR flilm cell souvenir, which had to have cost $20 at the least. That's a useless item, and like all his other toys, he'll probably throw it in the storage room and forget he has it. I think he needs to take responsibility for HIS actions, and how they influence hers. Why should she be the one to make all the changes if he's not willing to compromise and make changes as well? I mean, if you're clinically depressed, do you think that being ignored, treated like a fool, criticized all the time and blown off is going to IMPROVE your condition? I think if he'd show that he loves her, rather than just saying it, it would go a long way in helping her to trust him again. Everything he does screams "I hold you in contempt"....and you're trying to blame it on HER??

Sidhe