[Sundae]

I am so lethargic today.
And sleepy!

I got up slightly earlier than normal, knowing I had the house to myself. Was full of plans to go shopping, maybe even in Milton Keynes, jobserch online, amend my CV for bar-work, come in here etc etc.

I had to go back to bed - not once but twice.
Dad woke me up when he dropped in at 10.15, and again at 11.35.
I was completely sparko - I think if I'd had my earplugs in I would have slept through.

The only thing I can think it is, is that I'm trying antabuse again. It's a medication that makes you violently sick any time you consume alcohol - to the extent I have not used my normal mouthwash today. I have a course to last me until Monday, but the effects will last for up to another two weeks. This is really a safegaurd - I knew today I would have the house pretty much to myself, and that my benefits would be paid into my bank. This is always a danger time for me - I only have £45 to last me two weeks once all bills are taken care of, but that can easily be spent in two days on alcohol and then a fast food binge once my defenses are down. So I thought this was a really positive thing to do.

I'll be gutted if this drowsiness continues though - what will I be like tomorrow at school?

Still - I'm committed to it now.
A month teetotal should give my body a good detox and hopefully break the cycle of drink-hangover-drink I was getting back into.
And the subsequent weight loss - if nothing else - should act as a good incentive.

It's just an irritation, because I'd started to feel the benefits of being teetotal on willpower alone, and the extra step I've taken has had a more negative impact than I expected.