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Update (warning, rant follows)
OK, this is not going to turn out well. I am rapidly attaining the status of main dish even though I keep turning down the dinner invitations.
I won't pick up the phone when the caller ID shows that it's Glen. He retaliates by leaving long messages on my voice mail. He tells me that I "am loved," and reads me stuff he has written, including poetry (he IS a very good writer). He expresses concern for me and tells me funny stories about his day.
After listening to a few of these voice mails, I am softened up enough to finally answer when he calls. He expresses delight to finally speak with me at last, recalls the good times we shared together in the old days, is witty and self deprecating and very sexy in an understated way. The telephone lines from Arizona to Colorado must be fairly sizzling when we talk.
He has even enlisted his family in the cause. I have spoken with his sister on the phone and on FaceBook. She comes off as a very nice person. Glen 's youngest son also chats with me from time. I am still fond of that kid!
Yes, I know that I should get an unlisted number, change my e-mail, and not go NEAR FaceBook for at least the next 20 years. I should distract myself with cleaning the kitty litter box, thinking uplifting thoughts and even seeking out silver foxes on an Internet dating site - they may all be scoundrels, but at least they haven't PROVED it to me yet. Or maybe I could start sending sultry PM's to Urbane Guerilla.
I could write a self help book titled "Women who by LAW should be prevented from relationships - the true story of SamIam's amazing romantic misadventures."
So Glen's plan is to go visit his son's family back in our old home town, then come to Cortez to finish me off. I don't understand why he is putting all this energy into my demise. Up to now I was minding my own business and not hurting anybody - OK, I did send a few sarcastic replies to would-be online silver foxes, but that was it.
I have one question. I'd like to ask Glen to re-arrange his schedule and come see me before he goes to visit his son. Why drag this thing out? He is quite capable of carrying out in less than a week whatever diabolical plan he has in mind. I, of course, will spend the next year or two recovering. But I want to get this entire sordid affair over with and go on with my so-called life as soon as possible. Why stretch things out? Strike when the iron is hot and all that.
Do you think he would agree to this? Or would he just get mad and vanish again, only to reappear when we're both 70?
Sincerely,
Sleepless in Cortez
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