[DanaC]

Ok, Flint. That's fair enough. I just don't see a need to have no sympathy along side the message is all. Maybe that's just a stylistic difference, I don't know. I also disagree that a parent shouldn't or can't also be the child's friend

My mother is and pretty much always has been my friend. There was no doubt in my mind as a kid that she was also In Charge. She was able to do The Look. That was enough most of the time. But honestly, if I really crossed a line and did something horrible, parental anger, from either mum or dad wasn't half so upsetting and impactful as disappointment. We weren't a discipline heavy household. Things were generally talked through, not dealt with in anger. Smacking just was not something we did. Same goes for my Brother's family. 'Punishment' simply doesn't happen. Never really has. That's just not the model my brother and his wiife work on. Their girls are incredibly well-adjusted. They are also good friends.

Not saying that way is right. Just saying that the punishment/enforced lesson model isn't the only way. And parental authority is not necessarily in conflict with friendship.