Originally Posted by morethanpretty
Pam, I am writing you a reply because I think what I have to say is important. But before you read, I want you know one thing. A lot of what I have to say will sound very mean, but I am only being 100% honest.
The reason why some of us might think you are troll is because your responses are erratic, you are offended very easily and blow things out of proportion, and you post a lot of threads about yourself and then get angry for us talking about you. If you are a really the way you say, than I am sorry for baiting you, but your actions are very suspect so it is hard to take you seriously.
My advice, if you want it, is to stop posting/reading The Cellar. Not because I do not want your input, but because I think it is bad for you. You do not need to do so for forever, but take a break. 6months or a year. You are not alone in this, many dwellers here have had to take a break when they were having mental issues. You have admitted to having mental issues, and you are not coping well at this time. Thats normal, you are under a lot of stress. That being said, it is hard enough to judge a person's true intent in real life, it is 50times harder to judge their intent on the internet when you do not have body, face or voice cues to help you discern their meaning. Therefor, I think you should take a break from online interacting. I think you are having a hard time understanding people's intent, and online you need to have the ability to stay calm and rational. At this time, you are struggling with that and you need to time to gain mental stability. Again, many of the posters here have had the same exact issue and had to take a break. You are not the only one.
Next, if your parents are good people, and able to help you out, then forget the job in NY and move back in with them. I, myself, have had to move back to my parents more than once due to medical issues. There is no shame in that. If living with them will help you have less stress, then do it. You need to focus on your mental health and do whatever it takes. Mental diseases are extremely difficult to control, it takes time, and most people do not understand them very well. Give the medicine time to work, almost all meds I've used for depression took months to a year to be truly effective, even meds for other diseases like Rheumatoid Arthritis can take a long time to work well. Do not give up on the meds, take them!
Last, STOP DRINKING! The type of meds you are probably on do not work well with alcohol. If you truly want to get better, do not drink alcohol at all.
Again, I know this will probably upset you, but believe it or not, I mean it to help you. Concentrate on getting better, take a break from online interaction. I wish you the best.
Please take time to really think about my message. Even take it in to your therapist if you have to and see what their opinion is if need be.
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