[BigV]

Dear CF, and Mr Clod as well.

I'd like to comment on your last post.

You're right when you say any parent would step up for their child. You're absolutely right. And you're also right when you say that some parents just check out. I've seen both kinds, many more of the stepper-uppers than the checker-outers though.

What I feel, similar to Spexx's remark, is this. You and Mr Clod are in the stepper-upper group, of course. But what is unsaid is that the size and number of steps in your journey are exceptionally large. Larger than most parents face. *That* extra effort is worthy of extra acknowledgment. You can bask in it or deflect it as you like. I'm just telling you what it looks like from out here.

I do have some first hand experience here. I've been praised in the way you're being praised, and it did feel a little uncomfortable for just the reasons you express. I have step children (as an aside, they are every bit as much MY children as any other, blood relations or not. Anyone suggesting otherwise will be dismissed and an ignorant idiot until my tolerance runs dry at which time the beatdown will commence) and marrying into children is itself an additional degree of parenting difficulty. Taking on such a challenge deliberately is extra noble by itself. Having children (step or otherwise) that have physical challenges (please, I don't want to argue the pc-ness of the description) is more extra work for parents. I have one son who is deaf. I have another son who has epilepsy.

These complications are different from your kids' complications--I am not comparing them. I'm just pointing out that I know what it's like to have hard work, different work than most other parents have. Your kids may never know what went into rearing them. They undoubtedly know they're loved, and that's what counts. Our mutual friend, Pete Zicato nee dar512 said it best: Welcome to the hardest work you'll ever love. It sure is, and I sure do. We can all see you do too.