[jimhelm]

Costco doctor!




One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and it'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample... He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy lifting. Your elbow will start to improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Costco."

That evening, while thinking about this new diagnostic device, Joe also began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

The next day, he mixed up a concoction: some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe went back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposited ten dollars, poured in the family cocktail, and waited.

The computer printed the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant with twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. Also: If you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better.