I am sorry you are feeling so badly.I know that when people give advice, especially when feeling so blue, it seems insubstantial and pointless but I know, I really know that if you keep focused on the things you can do and see with your minds eye the goal you want, even when life seems to keep tripping you up, you will get there. There is always a way to to get what you need. That will eventually lead to the something bigger and brighter you are looking for, even when things seem a little dark.
When I feel pushed I break things down into the tiniest goal possible. I don't know what that is for you but for me it is keeping a roof over my head. I would take in renters if need be.
anyway,
I am sure you are seeing your doc, so you can get your rx upped as needed. I know you've said this is what you do and it has worked for you in the past, so I see no need to stop treatment now.
All of us here wish you the very best. You have a great mind with many wonderful things to share. You have many talents and those things will generate money if exploited to their fullest potential.
For example, I have a friend who busks and makes a goodly amount of change that way, even though he has a job some days he can put a huge chunk of change in his pocket. So 25 to 65 dollars doesn't save the day but it probably makes a person feel good to know that if you play on the street people will throw money at you
I know this seems like unfocused pep talk but I mean every word.
take care, I mean it!