[BigV]

Dear Sarge

I'm divorced. I have kids. My ex-wife and I, well, there was plenty of drama. Filing for divorce, restraining orders, living separately, living in my car, reconciliation, living together, refiling for divorce, plus a lot of drama, a lot of tears, a lot of damage.

I read your opening post and I can confidently say that there's no harm in being friendly, if you can do so safely. The safety of your kids' and your own mental health is what I am talking about. Being friendly's fine. But making commitments based on friendliness is not a good idea if her ACTIONS and her history don't match up.

Ever have a perp act friendly? I bet they can be reaaaal nice, especially when they're in a tough spot, and you have the power to make their life easier. Reformation is possible, rehabilitation is possible. But you know those fundamental changes in a person take strenuous and sustained effort. Only you can decide if the work has been done to make those changes possible.

Until you have good reason to believe the changes have already happened, you have a greater obligation to protect yourself, and protect your kids, because *no one* else is going to do that for you. If it's real, it will last. If it's a limited time offer, well, like those others said, you already know the answer.

Yours,