|
My brain is being stereotypically womanly this morning, and I can't see above it to decide if I'm being remotely rational or not.
About 8 years ago, I sent a kind of ranty email to my mom. We don't ever fight, but this is the closest I ever came to telling her off. It wasn't an insignificant gripe--had to do with my views on my asshole stepfather--but there was really no fallout from it at the time, at least I thought. Things moved on.
Yesterday, I was talking with my dad, who revealed that she had told him about the email at the time (which is weird to begin with, because the way I imagine it they don't ever communicate,) and that she had a completely wrong interpretation of what I was upset about. Wrong enough that I'm inclined to talk to her about it and make sure she doesn't still think that's the way things went down, because it is completely and totally wrong, and I would never want her to think that about me.
But if I bring it up, that means we have to revisit the whole episode to begin with. And my dad has a history of misinterpreting and/or mentally revising a whole host of things, especially those to do with my mother, so it could be digging into a wound that has no reason to be dug into in the first place. And even if she did feel that way at the time, we're talking about a thing that happened almost a decade ago.
But I feel really compelled to bring it up. But I should probably just let sleeping dogs lie. But if I remember the incident so clearly even now, surely she does too, and would appreciate knowing that I haven't blamed her for things all these years? But maybe she'll still blame herself anyway, and reminding her of the whole thing will only make her feel bad. Goddammit.
|