Quote:
Originally Posted by ZenGum
That really does need the verb specified. Or maybe you intended it both ways. 
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Torch was meant as a noun.
As in they can't find their arse with two hands and a torch [perhaps the American flashlight is more common].
Although if I was meaner, I could have suggested that I wanted to torch (set fire to) the hands and arseholes of the HR team.
But that would be pretty extreme.