Quote:
Originally Posted by jimhelm
Ok. I'll shut up.
I may have misunderstood what you were saying about feeling dysphoric. And I may be projecting my unconscious opinion that all gender benders are confused....by definition.
Didn't mean to offend... I accept you as you regardless of what color bra you're wearing.
How long until we can tease you about it? I've got some good ones...
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tease away, jimbo.
I know you weren't trying to be offensive or anything - thats why I responded with as much detail and intellectual explanation as i could, rather than with scorn or just ignoring you (not to say you WERE legit offensive, just... a little off base). I understand that to people who have never felt the chasm between gender roles, to those that HAVE always felt comfortable with gender, its hard to really grok everything that goes into gender identity, especially in relation to those outside the mainstream.
Part of the reason, I think, that people assume that to be outside the binarist system is to inherently be confused, is that its hard to shake the concept that there are two right ways, broadly speaking, to define or identify with gender, and those that fall outside the mainstream intend to figure out or transition towards one of the two mainstream poles... when I feel like gender, as an entirely social, entirely arbitrary construct, leaves an infinite number of potential identities. The sort of coming-out that I'm doing is saying that "the position on the gender spectrum that I've always taken and lived in is one that I am not comfortable defining as part of the cis male part of the spectrum", and little more. im saying that the conventional definitions don't fit my identity - not that the identity i've held is wrong or flawed, just that it lies outside the part of the gender spectrum generally defined as male.
I'm glad I better understand why you wonder if I'm making a wise choice. While it is often extremely hurtful or triggering to question a trans* person's identity the way you have made me question it, I have the huge luxury of being in a comfortable enough position to discuss how exactly I feel and why, and being questioned on (or questioning on my own) the decision only serves to help me articulate it better.
All these things I've been saying are going to be so helpful to me in explaining to my parents - who are, for the most part, more "your" generation (in the sense of the broad audience of the cellar) than "my" generation (some of you are of my own generation more than of my parents', or of the one in between mine and my parents', but on gender issues I have to say I think its fair to lump most of in with the older generation considering the extreme gap between young 20-somethings on this and older 20-somethings/30somethings/older) how I feel. I'm glad I'm catching, not flak, but reasonably legitimate questions on the decision. The thing that, for me, most accurately and helpfully refines my political beliefs is being questioned on them; it seems that having my identity questioned only helps me articulate more accurately the identity I mean to explain. So, thank you!