Hey it's me. I can't fucking believe this shit and I can't really be completely frank about this so I will change up the details a lot. The industry has been changed
I get this letter that a movie company wants to use a bunch of my songs as part of the soundtrack to a movie. They want worldwide, eternal, derivative, and just about every other right that can be gotten for about 25 songs. As compensation they want to give me a copy of the DVD of the movie when it comes out.
This is a professional movie company and a hot shot director, and I am a professional songwriter. WTF?
I wrote the agent a super sarcastic letter that I am tempted to send. Fans of my prose will recognize it as my work.
Quote:
Wow, a DVD!
What can I say? I am blown away, dude; that is awesome. I don’t remember the last time I was offered such generous compensation for my work. I’m going to guess it was in 1973, just before my 13th birthday, when the superintendant of my building gave me $5.00 to write a jingle about the building as a retirement memento for him. Did it matter to me that the five bucks he offered barely covered the cost of reel o reel tape? Of course not, I was getting paid! And adjusting for inflation, your offer nearly matches my former superintendant’s offer, especially if I were to order the DVD from Amazon.
I am tickled pink that after nearly 40 years practicing music composition, almost 30 of them professionally, I’ve come full circle in terms of compensation! To think what nit-wits my clients have been all these years paying me standard licensing fees, had they only known that I could be had for the price of a large pizza and a six pack of domestic beer. And for a limited license no less, not the world-wide, eternal, multi-media, unlimited iteration license you are asking for. How foolish of them to have paid so dearly for so little.
However, this is no time for me to gloat over past victories, no I must address your offer with all the seriousness and gravitas that you have presented to me.
Yeah, I’m gonna have to say thanks but no thanks, I’ll live without my sons appearing in XXXX's movie, I’ll buy the DVD myself from Amazon, and I already know how to title of the movie.
Thanks for thinking of me.
Sincerely,
anon
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