The Cellar - View Single Post - The Shitjob Chronicles - my personal tales of working with bumfuks

slang · 02-22-2004, 08:38 PM

Ahh, excuse me

Does everyone here know my background and how strange I am? Well, I consider myself pretty strange in several ways but its always interesting to talk to some of the team members at length just for the entertainment value. Hey, everybody has their quirks. It's the variation of the quirks that I find so interesting.

There's a guy on the team. His name for the chronicles is Albert, short for Albert Einstein. Hes 40 years old, about 6'4 at about 350#, lives at his parent's home, doesnt drive or own a car, and from what I have gathered from many conversations, about 30 (!!) credits shy of a BS in something obscure, cant remember exactly what he said.

I dont know exactly what happened to him but it seems he "let go of the rope" many years ago during his college days and has settled in to a life that makes me crazy just thinking about.

There are only a few people that will hang out with him but I think hes pretty funny to listen to in moderation. It's not the things he says that is so funny but the things he does while he is talking.

This is an example of one of the many things he does that just cracks me up. He's slamming a 20oz Coke in between breaths in this conversation.

Albert: So....I was watching this special last night on Nova. The show on metaphysics. Wow, that was cool. They detailed the effects of Einsteins theories in space and how they relate to blah-blah

slang: (listening politely)

Albert: And then they show Steven Hawken ( BUUUUUUURP!! ) ....Ah, excuse me....and he talks about the relationship between blah-blah

slang: ( totally unphased by the enormous burp )

Albert: So then they show the old letters from Einstein and how he was really right about all this but no one was smart enough at the time to prove the theory......( BUUUUUUURP!! ) ....Ah, excuse me...because, you know, they didnt have computers back then and the modern computers can make theoretical models to prove this kind of thing.....

slang: ( again totally unphased by the enormous burp )

Albert: So anyway, the whole unified field theory is fascinating to me personally, when I was in college.... ( BUUUUUUURP!! ) ....Ah, excuse me....I had a roommate that was studying physics and he'd explain the workings of the mathematical aspect of the---

slang: Hey Albert....I dont really give a shit if you belch out loud to the point that people in Towanda can hear you, thats totally cool. It's the the "ah, excuse me" part that's ridiculous. Tell you what, I'll stay clear of any projectiles thrown from the burp, and you just leave off the "excuse me" part. That's fucking stupid, excuse me infers some sincere embarassment or an apology, and it's quite clear that you'll be belching for the entire conversation.

Albert: Ok.....so anyway, then they showed some computer program running that simulated the.........( BUUUUUUURP!! ) .... planets of this solar system and blah-blah-blah.......

02-22-2004, 08:38 PM	#44
slang St Petersburg, Florida Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,423	Ahh, excuse me Does everyone here know my background and how strange I am? Well, I consider myself pretty strange in several ways but its always interesting to talk to some of the team members at length just for the entertainment value. Hey, everybody has their quirks. It's the variation of the quirks that I find so interesting. There's a guy on the team. His name for the chronicles is Albert, short for Albert Einstein. Hes 40 years old, about 6'4 at about 350#, lives at his parent's home, doesnt drive or own a car, and from what I have gathered from many conversations, about 30 (!!) credits shy of a BS in something obscure, cant remember exactly what he said. I dont know exactly what happened to him but it seems he "let go of the rope" many years ago during his college days and has settled in to a life that makes me crazy just thinking about. There are only a few people that will hang out with him but I think hes pretty funny to listen to in moderation. It's not the things he says that is so funny but the things he does while he is talking. This is an example of one of the many things he does that just cracks me up. He's slamming a 20oz Coke in between breaths in this conversation. Albert: So....I was watching this special last night on Nova. The show on metaphysics. Wow, that was cool. They detailed the effects of Einsteins theories in space and how they relate to blah-blah slang: (listening politely) Albert: And then they show Steven Hawken ( BUUUUUUURP!! ) ....Ah, excuse me....and he talks about the relationship between blah-blah slang: ( totally unphased by the enormous burp ) Albert: So then they show the old letters from Einstein and how he was really right about all this but no one was smart enough at the time to prove the theory......( BUUUUUUURP!! ) ....Ah, excuse me...because, you know, they didnt have computers back then and the modern computers can make theoretical models to prove this kind of thing..... slang: ( again totally unphased by the enormous burp ) Albert: So anyway, the whole unified field theory is fascinating to me personally, when I was in college.... ( BUUUUUUURP!! ) ....Ah, excuse me....I had a roommate that was studying physics and he'd explain the workings of the mathematical aspect of the--- slang: Hey Albert....I dont really give a shit if you belch out loud to the point that people in Towanda can hear you, thats totally cool. It's the the "ah, excuse me" part that's ridiculous. Tell you what, I'll stay clear of any projectiles thrown from the burp, and you just leave off the "excuse me" part. That's fucking stupid, excuse me infers some sincere embarassment or an apology, and it's quite clear that you'll be belching for the entire conversation. Albert: Ok.....so anyway, then they showed some computer program running that simulated the.........( BUUUUUUURP!! ) .... planets of this solar system and blah-blah-blah....... Last edited by slang; 02-22-2004 at 10:08 PM.