The Cellar - View Single Post - The Shitjob Chronicles - my personal tales of working with bumfuks

slang · 02-22-2004, 08:51 PM

Clamp man

Before every shift, there is a shift meeting . The shift super assigns people to the various stations based on who showed up that day and the ability of the workers. Sometimes people are overlooked as the super is focusing on some particular problem or individual. When I get skipped, its like a day off. It doesnt happen often but when it does you need to even the score for past events you didnt have the time to deal with.

slang: looks like someone fucked up the job assignments. I went to the line and there are 2 people doing my job, so I came over here. I've been fucking off for about 3 hours and NiteSuper hasnt said a word. Look at what I did. (slides some very new looking clean clamps across the counter in front of BSG)

BSG: wow, they look new. Whatja do to em?

slang: Soaked em in acetone for about and hour. They came out pretty good but take a look at these. (slides another set of clamps out in front)

BSG: Holy shit man! How'd you do that? They look chromed.

slang: Well I took em over to ThinGuys bench and fucked up his buffing wheel polishing them. The wheel was smoking when I finished it up. I used an entire block of buffing compound too. The wheel and the clamp were in continuous contact for about 15 minutes before the wheel totally disintegrated. Wow , that was funny. That buffer doesnt have a vacuum attached either, so there's debris, and I do mean, all over the fucking place. As I backed away from the buffer I had to use the airhose to blow away my footprints, The clamp was so hot that the fixture scortched the contact surface pattern into my gloves. (holds up the polished clamp to see his reflection) It was worth it though.

Bsg: Well, you done good

slang: Thanks. Mission accomplished in two ways.....polishing the clamp and fucking up the wheel. HoseMan also deserves a round of applause for switching stations with ThinGuy and then taking an extraordinarily long shit while I was destroying the buffer.

BSG: lol no shit man, ThinGuy's gonna be pissed!

slang: Fuck that pecker head. You remember last week when I looked like I might die....you know when everyone thought I was going to pass out, when I got white as a sheet?

BSG: Yeah, what about it?

slang: Well that was ThinGuys idea of a joke. He gave me a good pat on the back with gloves that had slurry all over them. I had his handprint in red on my back for 3 days. Rather than have you fuck him up for $10 or make a formal report to the office, he'll just lose his buffer. This time.

BSG: No shit. I'dda decked him.

slang: well he also fucked with HoseMan. His air nozzle went missing for an hour last week and HoseMan hadta use his hands to clear the hot sharp debris from the molds. He was one unhappy large felonious man that night, I can tell you.

BSG: I've never seen anyone fuck with HoseMan in the entire 3 years I've been here.

02-22-2004, 08:51 PM	#45
slang St Petersburg, Florida Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,423	Clamp man Before every shift, there is a shift meeting . The shift super assigns people to the various stations based on who showed up that day and the ability of the workers. Sometimes people are overlooked as the super is focusing on some particular problem or individual. When I get skipped, its like a day off. It doesnt happen often but when it does you need to even the score for past events you didnt have the time to deal with. slang: looks like someone fucked up the job assignments. I went to the line and there are 2 people doing my job, so I came over here. I've been fucking off for about 3 hours and NiteSuper hasnt said a word. Look at what I did. (slides some very new looking clean clamps across the counter in front of BSG) BSG: wow, they look new. Whatja do to em? slang: Soaked em in acetone for about and hour. They came out pretty good but take a look at these. (slides another set of clamps out in front) BSG: Holy shit man! How'd you do that? They look chromed. slang: Well I took em over to ThinGuys bench and fucked up his buffing wheel polishing them. The wheel was smoking when I finished it up. I used an entire block of buffing compound too. The wheel and the clamp were in continuous contact for about 15 minutes before the wheel totally disintegrated. Wow , that was funny. That buffer doesnt have a vacuum attached either, so there's debris, and I do mean, all over the fucking place. As I backed away from the buffer I had to use the airhose to blow away my footprints, The clamp was so hot that the fixture scortched the contact surface pattern into my gloves. (holds up the polished clamp to see his reflection) It was worth it though. Bsg: Well, you done good slang: Thanks. Mission accomplished in two ways.....polishing the clamp and fucking up the wheel. HoseMan also deserves a round of applause for switching stations with ThinGuy and then taking an extraordinarily long shit while I was destroying the buffer. BSG: lol no shit man, ThinGuy's gonna be pissed! slang: Fuck that pecker head. You remember last week when I looked like I might die....you know when everyone thought I was going to pass out, when I got white as a sheet? BSG: Yeah, what about it? slang: Well that was ThinGuys idea of a joke. He gave me a good pat on the back with gloves that had slurry all over them. I had his handprint in red on my back for 3 days. Rather than have you fuck him up for $10 or make a formal report to the office, he'll just lose his buffer. This time. BSG: No shit. I'dda decked him. slang: well he also fucked with HoseMan. His air nozzle went missing for an hour last week and HoseMan hadta use his hands to clear the hot sharp debris from the molds. He was one unhappy large felonious man that night, I can tell you. BSG: I've never seen anyone fuck with HoseMan in the entire 3 years I've been here. Last edited by slang; 02-22-2004 at 10:09 PM.