The Cellar - View Single Post - The Shitjob Chronicles - my personal tales of working with bumfuks

slang · 02-23-2004, 12:07 AM

Another spilled drink

During the course of a ten hour shift I normally drink about a gallon of water. That may sound like a lot but when you add the heat of working next to equipment that generates heat on it's own with the natural loss of water from physically exerting yourself, it's really not. Most everyone else is conditioned to the environment and they dont drink as much water as I do. If I'm staying in one place for more than a few minutes, there will be a water cup nearby.

Sometimes the cup is seen as too much of a temptation to resist.

HoseMan: ( walks over to my water cup, hit's it with a blast of air, it spills, and the cup rolls away on the floor )
slang: That was my water cup.
HoseMan: Oh was it? Sorry. lol (walks away)

Since the water is critical to me being able to work the duration of the shift, I went to create a HoseMan proof cup. The new cup was actually 2 separate quart paper cups. The first paper cup had some marble polymer added to the bottom, then the top cup was added and taped to the bottom cup. This made it taller and therefore theoretically more vulnerable to tipping. I thought this was pretty inventive and would eliminate the HoseMan fixation on emptying the contents. It was heavier than just water by almost 2 times, surely it'd be stable enough. I was wrong.

HoseMan: ( walks over to my new heavier water cup, hits it with air, it doesnt move. Positions the air hose directly over the cup, the contents spray out, the cup remains in place ) Ha ha
slang: I'll buy a personal hydration backpack if I have to.
HoseMan: Looks like your water leaked out. You need a better cup. lol (walks away)

So the next version had a top, with a straw. This would work, wouldnt it?

HoseMan: ( walks over to the now fortified cup. tries to blow the water out from the top, cup cover keeps the air from the water.....looks desparate for a second, then carefully positions the hose to blow the straw from the cup 10 feet away to rest on the dirty floor ) Yer getting better! But still not good enough. lol
slang: Are you bored tonight or what?
HoseMan: Looks like the air caught your straw, man. Sorry. lol (walks away)

Ok. So this time I change the strategy a little. This version I fill the cup with polymer to the top, make a lid for it and insert a straw into the wet, slurry. Wait 15 minutes and it's hard as rock, heavy and the straw isnt going anywhere. The perfect diversion. Now to place it nearby to lure HoseMan to it. I also made a duplicate of the solid cup, filled with water, just to switch at exactly the right moment. You want games? I got more games than Milton Bradley baby (a famous HoseMan quote).

HoseMan: (same routine, hits the cup with the air.....nothing moves because its all in heavy, solid polymer)
slang: (sees him hit it with the air....takes a drink from the real cup while he's looking at the decoy)

This goes on for about three hours. He hits the cup with no result, then goes on working. The next time he tries something a bit different, maybe getting closer to the cup or hitting it from another angle. Every 20 minutes or so, in between really working, he hits the cup with no effect. Each time he's so focused he doesnt see me drink from the my real cup.

HoseMan: (walks over) You must be getting really thirsty!
slang: Actually, no. Why would you say that?
HoseMan: That water cup there doesnt have any water in it. You're pretty sneaky dude. I picked it up, it's solid marble.
slang: What? I was drinking out of it 20 minutes ago, it can't be.
HoseMan: (goes to pick it up) I'll show you, you're full of shit! (sets it down)
slang: (drinks from the switched cup, they all look the same) I really appreciate you not fucking with my water now. That hose trick was really funny but it's getting old.
HoseMan: (confused, looking under the line for the solid cup he just picked up) Yeah, no problem.

Now for my turn. His air line runs from right under my work area. For the rest of the night, every time he turned the hose on a mold, I made had a crude foot pedal that would pinch the hose and cut the flow of air by about half. The hose was wrapped around a leg of the line so when HoseMan pulled on the hose to straighten what he figured was a kink in the hose, my pedal was undisturbed. Very funny and effective revenge. When the air wasnt really necessary, it ran full strength, when it was, about half the normal pressure was released.

HoseMan: Hey! Is that fucking compressor working? My pressure keeps dipping!
slang: Why dont you go check on it................and while you're over there fill my water cup.

02-23-2004, 12:07 AM	#49
slang St Petersburg, Florida Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,423	Another spilled drink During the course of a ten hour shift I normally drink about a gallon of water. That may sound like a lot but when you add the heat of working next to equipment that generates heat on it's own with the natural loss of water from physically exerting yourself, it's really not. Most everyone else is conditioned to the environment and they dont drink as much water as I do. If I'm staying in one place for more than a few minutes, there will be a water cup nearby. Sometimes the cup is seen as too much of a temptation to resist. HoseMan: ( walks over to my water cup, hit's it with a blast of air, it spills, and the cup rolls away on the floor ) slang: That was my water cup. HoseMan: Oh was it? Sorry. lol (walks away) Since the water is critical to me being able to work the duration of the shift, I went to create a HoseMan proof cup. The new cup was actually 2 separate quart paper cups. The first paper cup had some marble polymer added to the bottom, then the top cup was added and taped to the bottom cup. This made it taller and therefore theoretically more vulnerable to tipping. I thought this was pretty inventive and would eliminate the HoseMan fixation on emptying the contents. It was heavier than just water by almost 2 times, surely it'd be stable enough. I was wrong. HoseMan: ( walks over to my new heavier water cup, hits it with air, it doesnt move. Positions the air hose directly over the cup, the contents spray out, the cup remains in place ) Ha ha slang: I'll buy a personal hydration backpack if I have to. HoseMan: Looks like your water leaked out. You need a better cup. lol (walks away) So the next version had a top, with a straw. This would work, wouldnt it? HoseMan: ( walks over to the now fortified cup. tries to blow the water out from the top, cup cover keeps the air from the water.....looks desparate for a second, then carefully positions the hose to blow the straw from the cup 10 feet away to rest on the dirty floor ) Yer getting better! But still not good enough. lol slang: Are you bored tonight or what? HoseMan: Looks like the air caught your straw, man. Sorry. lol (walks away) Ok. So this time I change the strategy a little. This version I fill the cup with polymer to the top, make a lid for it and insert a straw into the wet, slurry. Wait 15 minutes and it's hard as rock, heavy and the straw isnt going anywhere. The perfect diversion. Now to place it nearby to lure HoseMan to it. I also made a duplicate of the solid cup, filled with water, just to switch at exactly the right moment. You want games? I got more games than Milton Bradley baby (a famous HoseMan quote). HoseMan: (same routine, hits the cup with the air.....nothing moves because its all in heavy, solid polymer) slang: (sees him hit it with the air....takes a drink from the real cup while he's looking at the decoy) This goes on for about three hours. He hits the cup with no result, then goes on working. The next time he tries something a bit different, maybe getting closer to the cup or hitting it from another angle. Every 20 minutes or so, in between really working, he hits the cup with no effect. Each time he's so focused he doesnt see me drink from the my real cup. HoseMan: (walks over) You must be getting really thirsty! slang: Actually, no. Why would you say that? HoseMan: That water cup there doesnt have any water in it. You're pretty sneaky dude. I picked it up, it's solid marble. slang: What? I was drinking out of it 20 minutes ago, it can't be. HoseMan: (goes to pick it up) I'll show you, you're full of shit! (sets it down) slang: (drinks from the switched cup, they all look the same) I really appreciate you not fucking with my water now. That hose trick was really funny but it's getting old. HoseMan: (confused, looking under the line for the solid cup he just picked up) Yeah, no problem. Now for my turn. His air line runs from right under my work area. For the rest of the night, every time he turned the hose on a mold, I made had a crude foot pedal that would pinch the hose and cut the flow of air by about half. The hose was wrapped around a leg of the line so when HoseMan pulled on the hose to straighten what he figured was a kink in the hose, my pedal was undisturbed. Very funny and effective revenge. When the air wasnt really necessary, it ran full strength, when it was, about half the normal pressure was released. HoseMan: Hey! Is that fucking compressor working? My pressure keeps dipping! slang: Why dont you go check on it................and while you're over there fill my water cup.