[Trilby]

Being a woman, I am probably more hormonally driven than a man. Probably. When I was young I certainly had as much interest in sex as the guys did. My lizard brain wanted sex, too, and wanted, in some weird way, I am sure, to make babies. I was very, very sexual as a teen/young woman. LOVED the sex, thank you very much. Do I have contempt for this younger, sexier self? No. I only have love and understanding for her. And a little bit of sorriness for her, too. Sooooooo stupid! But here's the thing I think: I grew along and grew into something more than a baby making machine. It took forever and it's still taking place now and YES I'm sure it has to do with cancer and surgery and being 48 which is a crone in this country and a huge relief as well. Women become mothers and then...for some of them, the sex thing changes. Our focus is on the infant and not the man. Biology.

I used to watch some pretty filthy porn. I thought porn was OK. Still do. As long as nobody gets hurt and scares the horses...you know, all that. Do whatever kinky thing you want but must you, MUST YOU shove in my face? Must I open every NSFW and see tits and ass and demeaning comments about parking bikes in butts? Is that all you've got? Coz, like all porn and transgressive material, that shit gets old fast. And it's hard to sometimes not take it personally. Like: Here's what you're good for. For fucking. For just simply fucking and fuck you and do what I say and be submissive and just shut up about it becaused Immma spurt in your mouf, beeeeeetch. That's how it feels sometimes to me. And you're asking me to shut up about it.

You're right. Male sexual response IS indeed simple. Indeed lizard-like. I guess I am expecting too much.

If there is one thing I have learned it's this: Lower your expectations and expect craziness.

thanks for reinforcing that lesson.

as far as porn stars - I've no idea what is wrong or right about them, damaged or not. I imagine they come from a variety of backgrounds. Enjoy it. Nobody is stopping you.