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infinite monkey · 10-31-2012, 12:09 PM

I was chased by 17 snakes down a hill as I was riding in a 500 mile skateboard race when I lived in Nebarkanaconnectyork, where I was also governor and 1st lady of the Supreme Circuit Court.

Oh, and I also sang back-up to the Supreme's back-up.

I've lived through 23 earthquakes, 90 tornadoes, 2 tsunamis, 61 hurricanes, a drought, and a couple of major sports leagues strikes. Once I became the All-sport Commissioner I put a stop to all that nonsense.

When I wrote my best-selling novel "What It Is And Why That's Wrong" in 1908, I had no idea the road this country would take. Luckily, my follow-up book "You Really Suck Stupid" was able to look back with 20/20 vision and apply it to the future.

I once sat on a park bench that Audrey Hepburn had sat upon and subsequently I was able to recite her lines from Breakfast At Tiffany's, verbatim, and also I was blind for a while and had to Wait Until Dark.

All of these things have made me the expert® I am today, and I can look at anything or anyone and not only be able to tell you what is wrong with them or it, but I can tell you exactly what should be happening to fix them or it.

I pity the fools who haven't taken advantage of the many opportunities for success that pass them by EVERY SINGLE DAY. I pity them, but I don't like them. They can do it if they just put their minds to it.

I own hotels and restaurants all over the world. However, you probably can't afford to frequent any of them.

I am the be-all end-all human being extraordinaire, and if you would just LISTEN to what I have to say you wouldn't suck so bad and the world would be OK again. But you're too selfish for that, aren't you?

Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name.

10-31-2012, 12:09 PM	#1
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	A little bit about me I was chased by 17 snakes down a hill as I was riding in a 500 mile skateboard race when I lived in Nebarkanaconnectyork, where I was also governor and 1st lady of the Supreme Circuit Court. Oh, and I also sang back-up to the Supreme's back-up. I've lived through 23 earthquakes, 90 tornadoes, 2 tsunamis, 61 hurricanes, a drought, and a couple of major sports leagues strikes. Once I became the All-sport Commissioner I put a stop to all that nonsense. When I wrote my best-selling novel "What It Is And Why That's Wrong" in 1908, I had no idea the road this country would take. Luckily, my follow-up book "You Really Suck Stupid" was able to look back with 20/20 vision and apply it to the future. I once sat on a park bench that Audrey Hepburn had sat upon and subsequently I was able to recite her lines from Breakfast At Tiffany's, verbatim, and also I was blind for a while and had to Wait Until Dark. All of these things have made me the expert® I am today, and I can look at anything or anyone and not only be able to tell you what is wrong with them or it, but I can tell you exactly what should be happening to fix them or it. I pity the fools who haven't taken advantage of the many opportunities for success that pass them by EVERY SINGLE DAY. I pity them, but I don't like them. They can do it if they just put their minds to it. I own hotels and restaurants all over the world. However, you probably can't afford to frequent any of them. I am the be-all end-all human being extraordinaire, and if you would just LISTEN to what I have to say you wouldn't suck so bad and the world would be OK again. But you're too selfish for that, aren't you? Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name.