When my Mum's friend became ill, many of her friends from London would turn up at very short notice (like call from outside the house!) and want her to go through all the gory details, then try to sympathise by telling her their own life problems.
Whereas Mum called in advance and went round and did the housework.
Breda treated them all the same - she was quiet but she genuinely loved people.
Everyone won anyway. Her other friends went away feeling they'd done a good thing and Mum came home all self-righteous about the way
she was doing things and simultaneously bitching about the state of the house and how she thought no-one had ever cleaned behind the cupboards.
I'd hate it if a neighbour crashed my house without notice.
But then I tend to hide myself away and avoid company.
Like you say - she's extrovert and impulsive, but kind. Asking her to help in some way might not fulfil her needs or help you be any more comfortable. If she was more practical she would already have offered, rather than turning up late with a cake.
If you think you want her in your life, put up with a little. I did this with a cow-orker and she really stood by me in times of need. Infuriating woman at times - I only learned she had a heart of gold when I needed it. She learned not to cross my boundaries after repeated deferrals.
I know you know this and were venting.
I often do it and then reread the post and think - yeah, that's what I felt at that moment. Just not now.
A cutesy sign on the door isn't a bad idea though.
I was always tempted to put one up "Night Worker Sleeping" to deter anyone who might want to talk in business hours. Then I realised bailifss don't keep business hours
