[Sundae]

Horrible day yesterday.
Just waiting around all day. Then the results were those which have already been explained to me in a telephone conversation on Monday.

Came home exhausted and just feeling physically ill.
Have given myself the day off today and am pleased to report a little bit of fizzy water and some fruit has helped somewhat.

It wasn't bad news, medically.
In fact it was better than I had any right to expect.
I think the detox is sending me on a rollercoaster of emotions, though and I've been feeling helpless and hating myself. Finances don't help of course; I've had my benefits agreed and it's now just a waiting game. I forgot how fraught that can be, and of course the enormous guilt I feel as I segue into a more useful life and it throws how bloody awful a place I am moving away from.

So, anyway.
I do not have any auto imune issues. I do not have Hepatitis. I no longer have to travel to Addenbrooke's, which is a relief. But Luton and Dunstable hospital is older, grubbier, less organised and altogether far less pleasant. Shame.

I have incipient cirrhosis, which means there is damage but also some signs of regeneration. Off to SMART next week, for a meeting at Oasis and referral to SCAS. Fingers crossed the hospital get in touch with my GP, who gets in touch with me by the time I have that meeting, as I know the Consultant did not want be going onto Acamprosate, considering it to be too harsh for my liver.

Luton's been the best place for fast responses and accurate paperwork so far, so I'm not too concerned.