Yeh, I'm sure he does.
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does Dan look forward to seeing her?
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Depends. Sometimes he misses who she was. He likes her for short periods of time - Like when they go have dinner & hang out for a couple hours. Or when they go to the beach, he likes to see his grandparents.
Sometimes. He likes to go when his sister, brother or other family is there. Frankly, he wants to see the other people more than his mom. I'd even go so far as to say she is a means to that end.
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Does he come home happy or stressed?
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Usually he is happy to be home. This is his safe place. I guess relieved is a good descriptor. They aren't around him a lot. They think they can do all this fun stuff all day. He doesn't have the stamina for that. He gets exhausted easily.
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it's hard to make decisions about his welfare that you wish he were able to make for himself
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In addition to wanting him to make them, I would like his friggin mother to have some intelligent input. Heck just an idea or a thought on a therapy or a vitamin, supplement or activity. Set up something for him to socialize with other people his age. Call/do SOMETHING ... ANYTHING. Show some forethought or concern for the future. A plan, an idea, a solution .. With her its always about her and what she wants. It's a lot to be the only one deciding EVERYTHING all the time. Its different than with a regular kid. Its a lot. My GF is good to share and all, but she is not his mom. They have a great relationship but she's not his mother.
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requires her to keep him within 50 miles of your home
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Yeh, thats a thought. She has no place nor money to see him and I'd be the controlling bastard keeping his maternal grandparents from seeing him etc etc etc. Everything gets twisted with these people.