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Originally Posted by Undertoad
...you have empathy, and it turns out that is the most important thing.
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It is! And you have it:
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Originally Posted by Undertoad
I also sensed that he was this way because he was fundamentally broken. Deep in his heart, he is a ball of weird insecurities. All this harsh douchebaggery is really due to how he feels about himself. Every comment a weird reflection of crushing internal damage. Knowing this made it possible to work with him. I'd leave his office and think, how sad it is; how troubled he must be. This absolute jerk of a human being is that way because of human failings we all have. And I would concentrate on the good aspects of his personality and hope that his sociopathic charm would make us successful to buyers.
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My question is, is it better to use the above as a starting place to help people like this, or is it more empathetic to assume that the broken simply cannot be fixed? On the one hand, they "deserve" help like we all do, but on the other hand, the extreme of empathy is to absolve them of all responsibility/hope to change.
I am down with the "there is a reason they are the way they are" mentality, but I struggle with my instinctive and permanent writing off of people that I see as being beyond help. I feel bad for them, but I also refuse to deal with them, and I'm not sure if that's more or less moral than hoping to fix them.