[Sundae]

I had a co-worker who was Queen of the "questions as insults" school of conversation.
Asking my friend at work whether she and her husband were still together for example.
Asking me after I lost weight whether I would keep it off or pile it all back on again.
She was a bitch, to be fair, and I don't think people asking about other people's reproductive plans are. But I do think they are straying into dangerous waters.

Although I think the post quoted above is a little... strident... there are many more reasons not to ask, than to ask. Not least because it is a very personal question, one which involves intercourse and is therefore about as personal as you can get, and really because it is unlikely to be anyone else's business.

When I informed the Family Planning Clinic (ie contraceptive service) of my change of name because I was getting married, I was very surprised to get the smiling response, "So we probably won't be seeing you again then!" I wasn't offended, but it seemed to me an odd assumption. Of course I proved myself an unnatural woman in the end anyway, by making a conscious choice not to have children. But I hadn't made that back in 1995.

20 years on I am still asked by some people (more often male, but that may be the company I keep), "Did you decide not to have children... or....?" Depending on my mood, my opinion of the person asking, or how mischievous I feel, I'll tell anything from the truth, to what I think will wind the conversation up quickly, to an outright lie. Sometimes a mixture.

However it has come up quite naturally in other conversations - with people I enjoy talking to, with people I don't mind sharing personal details with, and then I always tell the truth as I feel it at the time. Because when emotions are involves, answers can genuinely fluctuate.

So I guess my answer is I don't get my knickers in a twist about being asked. I don't like to be asked personal questions by people I don't know very well, but people can be bloody ill-mannered sometimes anyway. If you really feel it's necessary for you to know what someone's future plans are for their own body, be prepared for the fallout.