[Sundae]

I bought a kitchen torch for the Evil Ex.
It was that or a nail gun.
Both useful, both hoping he'd hurt himself badly. Presents as weapons - what a very stable relationship we had...

I can't suggest anything Monster, as here we have a simple on/ off switch and then the same sort of click as a lighter. And the switch is either on OR off, it doesn't reset.
Can't even offer to send one (or suggest you get MIL to bring one) as I'm sure it's illegal to transport flammable fuel.
Any camping websites which may be of use? Surely if you can buy guns & knives, you can buy lighters? And yes - I get the difference between a gas candle lighter and a [standard cigarette] lighter. Not a dig, just seems odd on the part of both our countries. Can you get the long candle matches btw? I know that's not what you're looking for, but they do work well.

Anyway I came here to moan about Leeds Central Library's Festival of Noise.
The young man two seats down with the deaf-plugs in his eras. Or at least I hope he goes deaf soon, listening to his music at that volume.
The 30-something man next to me who is making sure no bodily fluid is wasted by snorting up his own mucus. And there are public toilets on site, so even if he came out without tissues he could still go and have a good blow.

And the older lady who obvs has mental health issues - no not me.
She can't help that, but can't someone just ask her to keep it down? She's shaking the plaster off the walls.

And finally the foreign chap behind me talking to the computer.
No, really.
It's not voice activated, he's only logged on in a normal way - no mike or anything.

This is a bloody library!
Shut up shut up shut up.

Okay I admit I spent most of the night on the toilet least night, so I'm tired, sore and grumpy. Also don't even dare to pass a little bit of sneaky wind. And I have a Drs appointment later, which I'm not looking forward to. And I'm considerately trying not to cough.

Okay - it's all me.
They could still all do with shutting up though.