[Lady Sidhe]

Have you two attempted marriage counseling? Marriage counseling combined with individual counseling often helps. Sometimes if you're not communicating, it may seem you're growing apart, but the fact is, people change. We don't stay the people we were when we got married. The trick is to grow together. If you spend most of your time without each other, starting the communication up again can be hard to do, because no one wants to be the first.

Here's a song I heard late one night on a music show on TV. It got me to thinking, and it kinda makes sense...

START WITH THE ENDING
from What You Whispered
David Wilcox
..............................................

The secret of a happy marriage,
maybe you should write this down
If you want to keep a love together,
the best way is to end it now
Because when you both know its over,
suddenly the truth comes out
You can talk about your secret passion,
you can talk about your restless doubt

When there's no pretending,
then the truth is safe to say,
Start with the ending,
get it out of the way
Now there's no defending,
because no one has to win
Start with the ending,
its the best way to begin

After you have both decided,
you were missing something that you need
The ways that you were too short-sighted,
get easier for you to see
And after all the expectations
shatter on the kitchen floor
You just see another human suffering,
and you wonder what the war was for

When there's no pretending,
then the truth is safe to say,
Start with the ending,
get it out of the way
Now there's no defending,
because no one has to win
Start with the ending,
its the best way to begin

Happy anniversary darling,
we go back a long, long time
I think about our lives together,
I'm so grateful you are here in mine
And I know you'll keep on changing,
you're moving in this dance with me
I love the way we embrace the future
and keep the past a memory

So there's no defending
that the old ways could remain
We start with the ending
and things will never be the same
Now there's no defending,
because no one has to win
Start with the ending,
its the best way to begin
Now there's no pretending,
then the truth is safe to say,
Start with the ending,
get it out of the way
Now there's no defending,
because no one has to win
Start with the ending,
its the best way to begin
Now there's no defending,
because no one has to win
Start with the ending,
its the best way to begin



And here's a poem that made me rethink things, too:

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.


Of course, if you BOTH have decided and agreed that you don't want to be together, then all you can really do is what you're doing now. But sometimes a separation is what people need to realize that they really DON'T want to end it.

I wish you both luck.


Sidhe