I am not cool because my one designer label top ( Dolce Gabbana, fluorescant orange figure hugging club tshirt) which I adore because it makes me look super fuckin sexxy ...I bought for 50p at a fleamarket.....oh and i have never learned to drive....what else what else? *thinks* Its funny there are so many things which prevent me from ever achieving coolth but its hard to get specific.....bit like when people ask you what you want from your birthday, only totally different.....
Mmm. I like moby.....Ok there I said it now....I dedicated a largish portion of 4 years to a computer game....not very cool...not even remotely big or clever....I taught my dog to gi'me Five!....Thats seriously uncool. I very much enjoyed school dinners, they were scrummy....

I was the only hippy at the motorway services who had bought a ticket to Glastonbury.....There's just so much. My life is filled with instances of apparent coolness which upon any close inspection turn into the most uncool thing ever..........I once got into to trouble with the police ....and then cried like a little girl so the officer would let me go....