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Old 10-19-2007, 11:22 AM   #1
ZenGum
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Banana related deaths

This came up at work a few days ago: how many different ways can a person be killed that involve a banana (or bananas) as a crucial component?
For example:
Slip on a banana peel and crack your head.
Choke while attempting to eat too much banana.
Crushed to death under huge pile of bananas.
Smothered by being wrapped in a blanket made of stitched-together banana skins.
Stabbed to death with a (very) frozen, sharpened banana.
Hanged or garroted with a rope made from the fibers from a banana peel.
Drown in pureed banana.

And some less direct ones:
Suffer from such severe bananaphobia as to have a fatal heart attack at the sight of one.
Become convinced you are a banana, leap into a swimming pool attempting to make fruit salad, and drown.
Be sexually obsessed with bananas, be caught in an act of public banana-related perversion, and die of embarrassment.
Variant - choke while attempting to fellate a banana.
Be beaten to death by an angry gorilla from whom you are trying to steal a banana.

I am sure there are more, so let your twisted imaginations run free!
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Old 10-19-2007, 11:31 AM   #2
LabRat
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While attempting a healthy breakfast of banana in the car driving to work accidently drop it, and in attempt to retrieve it from your floorboards cross the median and get crushed under the wheels of an oncoming 18 wheeler.
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Old 10-19-2007, 11:40 AM   #3
Flint
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You go on an all-banana diet, and eventually die from never pooping ever again.
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Old 10-19-2007, 11:59 AM   #4
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You're doing the old pound a nail into a board with a frozen banana dipped in liquid nitrogen trick at the local grade school, and the brittle frozen banana shatters. The little banana slivers scatter all across the floor, where they immediately thaw out.

You slip on the slick mess covering the floor, and land on the dewar of liquid nitrogen. It spills all over you, causing serious frostbite on 10% of your body. The frostbite gets infected and you die.
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Old 10-19-2007, 12:14 PM   #5
SteveDallas
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Suicidal rage induced by one too many playings of "Banana Phone"?

EDIT: If you want to listen to it, go Google it for yourself. I don't want to have that responsibility weighing on my conscience.
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Old 10-19-2007, 12:33 PM   #6
Flint
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__________________
******************
There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there
it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your
expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever
gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio
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Old 10-19-2007, 12:42 PM   #7
Sundae
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I am glad you are highlighting how dangerous bananas are.
They are in fact the devil's fruit, and I can only choke them down when they are heavily disguised.
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Old 10-19-2007, 12:46 PM   #8
Cloud
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Did you make that up? You could totally change the focus by inserting anykind of widget in place of a banana.
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Old 10-19-2007, 12:56 PM   #9
ZenGum
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Labrat: quite likely
Flint (first): damn, I should have thought of that.
Glatt: very tense, never knew quite when the death was going to come. The next Steven King.
Steve: also, being killed by someone else driven to homicidal rage by the song, seems equally likely.
Flint (second): I was happier without having that in my universe, thank you. Go buy a whole lot of bananas, please.
Sundae Girl: And their shape is saucily suggestive, leading to carnal thoughts. They are clearly abominations.
Cloud: not all widgets will fit everywhere a banana will. Take care. But yes, I think I mostly made up the idea. And I sense thread drift approaching...
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Old 10-19-2007, 01:02 PM   #10
Spexxvet
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Someone shoots you with their banana gun
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Old 10-19-2007, 01:24 PM   #11
jester
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Have you never watched "Transylvania 6-5000"

slipping on a peel
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Old 10-19-2007, 01:27 PM   #12
SteveDallas
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Flint, I guess you don't care if you go to Hell.

Or is it that you feel you're already there, and want more of us to join you?
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Old 10-19-2007, 02:13 PM   #13
Flint
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveDallas View Post
Flint, I guess you don't care if you go to Hell.

Or is it that you feel you're already there, and want more of us to join you?
I, for one, welcome our banana overlords.
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__________________
******************
There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there
it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your
expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever
gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio
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Old 10-19-2007, 01:50 PM   #14
monster
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Practicing applying condoms in sex ed class, the banana gets over-excited and shoots it's load, all over the guy practicing with the cucumber. he jolts forward and (accidentally) rams the cucumber up the arse of the class nerd, causing him to tighten his grip on the small limp pickle and two grapes he brought. They shoot out of his grasp, the grapes lodge in each of your nostrils and the pickle flies into your gob which is stick open from the shock of seeing a banana cum. pickle obstructs windpipe, you suffocate.
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Old 10-19-2007, 02:30 PM   #15
Cloud
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monster View Post
Practicing applying condoms in sex ed class, the banana gets over-excited and shoots it's load, all over the guy practicing with the cucumber. he jolts forward and (accidentally) rams the cucumber up the arse of the class nerd, causing him to tighten his grip on the small limp pickle and two grapes he brought. They shoot out of his grasp, the grapes lodge in each of your nostrils and the pickle flies into your gob which is stick open from the shock of seeing a banana cum. pickle obstructs windpipe, you suffocate.
brava!
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