Nothing Is Worse Than...

Juniper · 05-11-2009, 01:36 PM

This is a phrase I hear all the time, and it always strikes me as being a bit silly. People say things like "there's nothing worse than making a sandwich and finding out your bread is moldy..." etc. and I think, well yes, in fact, there are millions of things worse than that. I mean, your teeth could fall out. Your dog could die. A meteor could fall on your house. That would be worse.

Anyone else ever notice that one and find it a little bit silly?

Well, in the interest of humor -- what else is there "nothing worse than?" You know, funny things. Not sad things. We all know there's always something that could be worse.

I'll start.

There's nothing worse than walking barefoot through your house at 6 a.m. and stepping on something squishy.

Your turn.

lumberjim · 05-11-2009, 02:00 PM

these will be funnier if they've actually happened to you.

nothing worse than:

stepping in wet dog shit in the rain....barefoot. ...and then stepping in another pile with the other foot while hopping around, and slipping and putting your hand in yet another pile of wet loose rained on dog shit.

nothing.

glatt · 05-11-2009, 02:12 PM

Reminds me of this guy with his mouth clamped shut, swimming in sewage in Gaza.

Queen of the Ryche · 05-11-2009, 02:09 PM

How about when the cat presents you with a feathered trophy, but it's not quite dead yet, so it's frantically flying around inside your house, pooping and bleeding all over it's flight path, which includes running into you while you're trying to open the door to get it the eff out of your house? You finally shoo it out, only to find that the cat decided to drag it back in (now fully dead) lter the same day when you weren't looking. Good kitty.

Juniper · 05-11-2009, 02:12 PM

Damn, those are both pretty good. I mean bad.

glatt · 05-11-2009, 02:30 PM

Nothing's worse than being an introvert and finding yourself on the Baby's R Us PA system begging other shoppers to be on the lookout for your missing toddler, all because the customer service person doesn't get what you want when you come to them for help in searching the cavernous store for your missing kid, and they hand you the PA mic instead of initiating a search. I learned though, that the store manager comes out in a hurry and takes control of things when a customer gets on the PA system.

wolf · 05-11-2009, 02:24 PM

I get spat on, have to wade through lakes of piss, and deal with fecal decorative individuals on a regular basis.

My standards are different.

But okay, stepping on gum. That's gross. I really hate that.

TheMercenary · 05-11-2009, 02:35 PM

Nothing is worse than 18 month deployment to Iraq.

Undertoad · 05-11-2009, 02:46 PM

Nothing is worse than a level of flu where you vomit, blast a torrent of liquid shit into your underwear while vomiting, remove your underwear, vomit again and then blast a torrent of liquid shit at the opposite wall and floor.

trust me on this, just get in the shower and turn it on before round two begins.

jinx · 05-11-2009, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Nothing is worse than a level of flu where you vomit, blast a torrent of liquid shit into your underwear while vomiting, remove your underwear, vomit again and then blast a torrent of liquid shit at the opposite wall and floor.

Except if there's an electric heater on the opposite wall and you're my child.

BigV · 05-22-2009, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Nothing is worse than a level of flu where you vomit, blast a torrent of liquid shit into your underwear while vomiting, remove your underwear, vomit again and then blast a torrent of liquid shit at the opposite wall and floor.

trust me on this, just get in the shower and turn it on before round two begins.

You are f*cking busted! Get your intarwebcamz OUT of my bathroom now! And from now on, I'm wearing a tinfoil hat and tinfoil shorts.

Gravdigr · 06-01-2009, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Nothing is worse than a level of flu where you vomit, blast a torrent of liquid shit into your underwear while vomiting, remove your underwear, vomit again and then blast a torrent of liquid shit at the opposite wall and floor.

trust me on this, just get in the shower and turn it on before round two begins.

Been there. Done that. Sympathy.

Sheldonrs · 06-03-2009, 03:25 PM

Welcome to another episode of "Blechs! And The Shitty".

lumberjim · 05-11-2009, 02:53 PM

oh dear god.

that's some funny shit.

Beestie · 05-12-2009, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

oh dear god.

that's some funny shit.

That reminds me to post the legendary Ryan's Beefmac story tonight.

05-11-2009, 01:36 PM	#1
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	Nothing Is Worse Than... This is a phrase I hear all the time, and it always strikes me as being a bit silly. People say things like "there's nothing worse than making a sandwich and finding out your bread is moldy..." etc. and I think, well yes, in fact, there are millions of things worse than that. I mean, your teeth could fall out. Your dog could die. A meteor could fall on your house. That would be worse. Anyone else ever notice that one and find it a little bit silly? Well, in the interest of humor -- what else is there "nothing worse than?" You know, funny things. Not sad things. We all know there's always something that could be worse. I'll start. There's nothing worse than walking barefoot through your house at 6 a.m. and stepping on something squishy. Your turn.

05-11-2009, 02:00 PM	#2
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	these will be funnier if they've actually happened to you. nothing worse than: stepping in wet dog shit in the rain....barefoot. ...and then stepping in another pile with the other foot while hopping around, and slipping and putting your hand in yet another pile of wet loose rained on dog shit. nothing. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

05-11-2009, 02:09 PM	#4
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	How about when the cat presents you with a feathered trophy, but it's not quite dead yet, so it's frantically flying around inside your house, pooping and bleeding all over it's flight path, which includes running into you while you're trying to open the door to get it the eff out of your house? You finally shoo it out, only to find that the cat decided to drag it back in (now fully dead) lter the same day when you weren't looking. Good kitty. __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

05-11-2009, 02:24 PM	#7
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I get spat on, have to wade through lakes of piss, and deal with fecal decorative individuals on a regular basis. My standards are different. But okay, stepping on gum. That's gross. I really hate that. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

05-11-2009, 02:35 PM	#8
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Nothing is worse than 18 month deployment to Iraq. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

05-11-2009, 02:12 PM	#3
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Reminds me of this guy with his mouth clamped shut, swimming in sewage in Gaza.

05-11-2009, 02:30 PM	#6
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Nothing's worse than being an introvert and finding yourself on the Baby's R Us PA system begging other shoppers to be on the lookout for your missing toddler, all because the customer service person doesn't get what you want when you come to them for help in searching the cavernous store for your missing kid, and they hand you the PA mic instead of initiating a search. I learned though, that the store manager comes out in a hurry and takes control of things when a customer gets on the PA system.

05-11-2009, 02:46 PM	#9
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Nothing is worse than a level of flu where you vomit, blast a torrent of liquid shit into your underwear while vomiting, remove your underwear, vomit again and then blast a torrent of liquid shit at the opposite wall and floor. trust me on this, just get in the shower and turn it on before round two begins.

06-03-2009, 03:25 PM	#13
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	Welcome to another episode of "Blechs! And The Shitty". __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

05-11-2009, 02:53 PM	#14
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	oh dear god. that's some funny shit. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

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