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03-15-2009, 09:59 PM | #1 |
I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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You know you're getting on a bit when....
after petting your cat or dog, you leave more hairs on their coat than they do on yours...
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
03-15-2009, 10:17 PM | #2 |
When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
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...when your corneas get hard but your cock doesn't.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog |
03-15-2009, 10:35 PM | #3 | |
Your Bartender
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Philly Burbs, PA
Posts: 7,651
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Quote:
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03-16-2009, 05:10 AM | #4 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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03-16-2009, 07:46 AM | #5 |
Doctor Wtf
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
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...you notice how young a policeman looks.
...you go to a festival and think the music is too loud.
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Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl. |
03-16-2009, 07:57 AM | #6 |
We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
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...you find yourself following the plot of the Archers (for the Brits).
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03-16-2009, 09:15 AM | #7 |
Blatantly Homosapien
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,200
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.... you need glasses to clean your glasses.
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Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please. |
03-16-2009, 12:07 PM | #9 |
Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
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...you make grunting noises when merely standing up out of a comfy chair.
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03-16-2009, 04:00 PM | #10 |
lives inside a Mobius strip
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,120
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You go to the zoo, and you feel smug & happy when you pull your AARP card out to get the discount on entry fees, and only later realize that they asked you if you had one first.
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I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque! - Bugs Bunny |
03-16-2009, 05:03 PM | #11 |
Blatantly Homosapien
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,200
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...when you place a mirror on the back of the toilet so you can admire your piss hard while it lasts.
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Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please. |
03-18-2009, 03:13 PM | #12 |
Resident Denizen
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: O'ahu, Hawaii
Posts: 63
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...you sit down in a rocking chair and can't get it started.
...you see a pretty girl walk by, and your pacemaker raises the garage door. ...you sink your teeth into a nice juicy steak, and they stay there. ...you burn the midnight oil... until nine thirty. |
03-19-2009, 04:35 PM | #13 | |
Professor
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: the edge of the abyss
Posts: 1,947
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Quote:
That reminds me of once, a very long time ago, I was watching Staurday Night Live, back when the original cast was on. I had never seen the show, and I was high as... well, I was reeeally high. They did a commercial where Gilda Radner's teeth fell out when she bit into some corn on the cob at a picnic (she was playing a granny) and I thought it was real commerical. I howled so hard I nearly peed in my pants. |
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03-18-2009, 03:35 PM | #14 |
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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...when you worry that fucking the brains out of the younger guy who's been checking you out will ruin him for all the other girls he'll meet in his life.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
03-18-2009, 03:52 PM | #15 |
I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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you worry too much. That's his problem....
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
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