Finding a good lover?

limey · 02-18-2011, 08:49 AM

monster · 02-18-2011, 09:27 AM

one would hope so

Sundae · 02-18-2011, 10:18 AM

Is that a hard and fast rule?
Are we discussing the ins and outs here?

Shawnee123 · 02-18-2011, 11:09 AM

"In my opinion, the best thing you can do is to find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think that the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."

--Mac MacGruff, Juno

(If they're really awesome in bed, too, it's a bonus!)

jimhelm · 02-18-2011, 11:27 AM

I think that's a recipe for being lonely for a long time.

Shawnee123 · 02-18-2011, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimhelm

I think that's a recipe for being lonely for a long time.

46 years by my calculation, and worth every minute.

jimhelm · 02-18-2011, 11:57 AM

Still, I hope you find that perfect person.

Pete Zicato · 02-18-2011, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimhelm

Still, I hope you find that perfect person.

Sean: You're not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense: this girl you've met, she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other.

Shawnee123 · 02-18-2011, 01:44 PM

Awww shucks, ain't no one perfect. But, perfect for ME, or perfect for any individual, is the person who thinks the sun shines out your ass, whether you're... (see above quote.)

Trilby · 02-18-2011, 03:17 PM

Now, in my dotage, I want a man who thinks the sun shines out my ass instead of the other way 'round.

I used to go around worshipping my lovers. NO MORE! I want them to worship ME.

Gravdigr · 02-19-2011, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

I used to go around worshipping my lovers. NO MORE! I want them to worship ME.

They should.

Shawnee123 · 02-18-2011, 03:19 PM

Don't you believe in mutual ass sunshine? I do.

Trilby · 02-18-2011, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Don't you believe in mutual ass sunshine? I do.

some sun may shine out of his ass - that would be a bonus. I just want supplicants now. I'm too old to argue my points of view - just do what I say, anticipate my needs and rub my feet. Plus the worship. I need daily worship.

I'm also wretched when I'm nervous.

Sundae · 02-18-2011, 03:35 PM

Sadly, I want the best of both worlds, arse-sunshine on both sides. Or - even more unlikely - a best friend I can love (in a non-Platonic way)

I've tried the alternatives. I married a man who thought the sun rose and set in my eyes and I broke his heart. I deserved to feel guilty when I left him, but he got to move on and I still dream about him in self-flagellation mode.

I then entered a turbulant relationship (the evil ex) where I adored him because I couldn't have him completely and lay down and submitted any time I was asked. My body responded to him in extraordinary ways - and I'm not talking orgasms (although there were a normal amount). Sending and receiving texts and emails sent my body into classic fight or flight modes - dropped stomach, butterflies, increased pulse, flushed skin. Our fights became physical. We shouted and screamed and made up and did it again. I lost 10lb in two weeks when he spent it with his ex.

Ridiculous. Love isn't a dictatorship. Or an extreme sport.
I'd like to love and be loved. I'm a better candidate for that than I ever was in the past. But I know - completely without self-pity - that it is highly unlikely I will have a fulfilling relationship again.

limey · 02-19-2011, 04:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

.... But I know - completely without self-pity - that it is highly unlikely I will have a fulfilling relationship again.

I knew that for myself when I was 42, having moved to a place where all the available men were available for A Reason ... and I was comfortable with it.

02-18-2011, 08:49 AM	#1
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Finding a good lover? Is it hard? __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

02-18-2011, 09:27 AM	#2
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	one would hope so __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-18-2011, 11:09 AM	#4
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	"In my opinion, the best thing you can do is to find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think that the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with." --Mac MacGruff, Juno (If they're really awesome in bed, too, it's a bonus!) __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

02-18-2011, 11:27 AM	#5
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	I think that's a recipe for being lonely for a long time. __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

02-18-2011, 11:57 AM	#7
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	Still, I hope you find that perfect person. __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

02-18-2011, 10:18 AM	#3
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Is that a hard and fast rule? Are we discussing the ins and outs here?

02-18-2011, 01:44 PM	#9
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Awww shucks, ain't no one perfect. But, perfect for ME, or perfect for any individual, is the person who thinks the sun shines out your ass, whether you're... (see above quote.) __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

02-18-2011, 03:17 PM	#10
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Now, in my dotage, I want a man who thinks the sun shines out my ass instead of the other way 'round. I used to go around worshipping my lovers. NO MORE! I want them to worship ME. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

02-18-2011, 03:19 PM	#12
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Don't you believe in mutual ass sunshine? I do. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

02-18-2011, 03:35 PM	#14
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Sadly, I want the best of both worlds, arse-sunshine on both sides. Or - even more unlikely - a best friend I can love (in a non-Platonic way) I've tried the alternatives. I married a man who thought the sun rose and set in my eyes and I broke his heart. I deserved to feel guilty when I left him, but he got to move on and I still dream about him in self-flagellation mode. I then entered a turbulant relationship (the evil ex) where I adored him because I couldn't have him completely and lay down and submitted any time I was asked. My body responded to him in extraordinary ways - and I'm not talking orgasms (although there were a normal amount). Sending and receiving texts and emails sent my body into classic fight or flight modes - dropped stomach, butterflies, increased pulse, flushed skin. Our fights became physical. We shouted and screamed and made up and did it again. I lost 10lb in two weeks when he spent it with his ex. Ridiculous. Love isn't a dictatorship. Or an extreme sport. I'd like to love and be loved. I'm a better candidate for that than I ever was in the past. But I know - completely without self-pity - that it is highly unlikely I will have a fulfilling relationship again.

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