The Landshark Thread

infinite monkey · 02-07-2013, 04:40 PM

http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php?t=7734

Post your landshark interpretation here! I'll start with the original landshark.

[Scene: Interior. A New York apartment. There is a knock at the door.]
Woman: [speaking through closed door] Yes?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?
Woman: Who?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?
Woman: Who is it?
Voice: [pause] Flowers.
Woman: Flowers for whom?
Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am.
Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?
Voice: [pause] Candygram.
Woman: Candygram, my foot! You get out of here before I call the police! You're the shark, and you know it!
Voice: Wait. I-I'm only a dolphin, ma'am.
Woman: A dolphin? Well... Okay. [opens door]
[Huge latex and foam-rubber shark head lunges through open door, chomps down on woman's head, and drags her out of the apartment, as Jaws attack music plays.]

footfootfoot · 02-07-2013, 05:00 PM

I loved landshark. i have no idea what you want me to write though.

Gravdigr · 02-07-2013, 05:03 PM

Quote:

It's Grandma.

Gravdigr · 02-07-2013, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Laaaaandshaaaaark.

infinite monkey · 02-07-2013, 06:28 PM

Well, that beer chart, for instance, pointed to Landshark beer for parrotheads, and google images is chockful of interesting pictures. Or you could write a poem. Or draw one. Or knap one!

toranokaze · 02-08-2013, 12:25 AM

I thought I wasn't supposed to drink and post

footfootfoot · 02-08-2013, 12:39 AM

Rules were meant to be broken.

lumberjim · 02-08-2013, 01:27 AM

Land ..... Dolphin

footfootfoot · 02-08-2013, 07:41 AM

I'm not 100% sure I 'get' furries.

Maybe the Scottish Squirrel

xoxoxoBruce · 02-08-2013, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

I'm not 100% sure I 'get' furries.

It saves a paper bag.

infinite monkey · 02-08-2013, 09:08 AM

Hark! Hark!
Is that the landshark?
Knocking on my door is he wanting more
Flesh?

The peephole doesn't help people
Distinguish between dolphin and shark
Is it a harmless mammal
Or a fish knocking on doors in the dark?

Don't! Stop!
Don't open that door!
And don't go into that basement
It's full of monsters galore. At least FOUR!

And also don't move to Amityville.

infinite monkey · 02-08-2013, 11:00 AM

I have always depended on the cleverness of strangers.

Oh wait, that must be somewhere else.

No shark snark. I am disappoint.

Come on, all the cool kids are doing it. I am, and I AM the cool kid.

You coulda been a contender. You coulda been somebody, instead of a bum-sitter, which is what you are, let's face it. (Get it? Huh? Waterfront? Shark?)

I won't be here all week, but eat something!

toranokaze · 02-11-2013, 02:03 AM

What is not to get it is having sex as an animal

footfootfoot · 02-11-2013, 10:08 AM

Having sex with an animal?

Sundae · 02-11-2013, 10:31 AM

Wait, if I squirell things away does that makes me Michelle Gomez?

02-07-2013, 04:40 PM	#1
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	The Landshark Thread http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php?t=7734 Post your landshark interpretation here! I'll start with the original landshark. [Scene: Interior. A New York apartment. There is a knock at the door.] Woman: [speaking through closed door] Yes? Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh? Woman: Who? Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr? Woman: Who is it? Voice: [pause] Flowers. Woman: Flowers for whom? Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am. Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you? Voice: [pause] Candygram. Woman: Candygram, my foot! You get out of here before I call the police! You're the shark, and you know it! Voice: Wait. I-I'm only a dolphin, ma'am. Woman: A dolphin? Well... Okay. [opens door] [Huge latex and foam-rubber shark head lunges through open door, chomps down on woman's head, and drags her out of the apartment, as Jaws attack music plays.] Attached Images

02-07-2013, 05:00 PM	#2
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	I loved landshark. i have no idea what you want me to write though. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

02-08-2013, 12:25 AM	#6
toranokaze I'm still a jerk Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Little Mexico Posts: 1,817	I thought I wasn't supposed to drink and post __________________ "Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering.

02-08-2013, 12:39 AM	#7
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Rules were meant to be broken. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

02-08-2013, 01:27 AM	#8
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	Land ..... Dolphin __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

02-07-2013, 06:28 PM	#5
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Well, that beer chart, for instance, pointed to Landshark beer for parrotheads, and google images is chockful of interesting pictures. Or you could write a poem. Or draw one. Or knap one!

02-08-2013, 07:41 AM	#9
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	I'm not 100% sure I 'get' furries. Maybe the Scottish Squirrel __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

02-08-2013, 09:08 AM	#11
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Hark! Hark! Is that the landshark? Knocking on my door is he wanting more Flesh? The peephole doesn't help people Distinguish between dolphin and shark Is it a harmless mammal Or a fish knocking on doors in the dark? Don't! Stop! Don't open that door! And don't go into that basement It's full of monsters galore. At least FOUR! And also don't move to Amityville.

02-08-2013, 11:00 AM	#12
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	I have always depended on the cleverness of strangers. Oh wait, that must be somewhere else. No shark snark. I am disappoint. Come on, all the cool kids are doing it. I am, and I AM the cool kid. You coulda been a contender. You coulda been somebody, instead of a bum-sitter, which is what you are, let's face it. (Get it? Huh? Waterfront? Shark?) I won't be here all week, but eat something! Last edited by infinite monkey; 02-08-2013 at 11:33 AM.

02-11-2013, 02:03 AM	#13
toranokaze I'm still a jerk Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Little Mexico Posts: 1,817	What is not to get it is having sex as an animal __________________ "Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering.

02-11-2013, 10:08 AM	#14
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Having sex with an animal? __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

02-11-2013, 10:31 AM	#15
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Wait, if I squirell things away does that makes me Michelle Gomez? __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

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