You’re not doing well.

[Flint]

When people ask, “How are you doing?” they are not asking you about performing an action— to which “I am performing well,” would be an appropriate response. That is, an adverb (well) modifying the verb (performing).

The question, “How are you doing?” is commonly understood to mean, “What is your mental status?” and the appropriate answers are adjectives— e.g. on the ‘good’ to ‘bad’ scale.

“What is your status?”
“My status is good.”

“How are you doing?”
“GOOD. My status is GOOD.”



The “doing well” bandwagon is just pseudo-intellectual, socioeconomic virtue-signalling. I reject the entire premise, wholesale. The understood meaning of common-use language is the entire point of having a language.

[BigV]

When asked that question, "how are you doing?", if I am not sick, I reply "I am well, thank you." I do not say "I am good."

[glatt]

I see grammar nazis on social media. Just respect people, and don't be pedantic.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Just hold up the palm of your hand and say, "Oy, don't ask".

[Flint]

Originally Posted by glatt

I see grammar nazis on social media. Just respect people, and don't be pedantic.

I'm not talking about social media-- these are IRL grammar zombies. They think they're signalling "I'm an educated intellectual who uses correct grammar (the highest human achievement)," but they're actually, awkwardly mangling a simple verbal exchange.

"How are you?" ... "Good"
"How are you?" ... "Good"

It's simple, it's easy, it's what you want to say because it makes sense in common use. But then, the desire to overcompensate kicks in and people remember they read an article on Buzzfeed (?) or wherever they got this stupid idea to say things "like a smart person."

THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED

[Gravdigr]

If anyone asks me how I am doing, I quote Popdigr, who is quoting Dave Ramsay, and say "Better than I deserve."

[sexobon]

[Clodfobble]

I actually find it really hard to answer "good," because that's usually inaccurate. Not that everything's awful all the time, but life is just more complicated than that.

I know people aren't really asking, and it's as perfunctory as "how do you do?" or "have a nice day." But people around here--which is to say teachers, parents, mostly women when you get right down to it--say it with a certain emphasis, where they tilt their head to the side just a little, frown with their eyes but smile with their mouth, and say "how are you" or "how are you" as if to make it clear that, yes, this is a meaningless greeting elsewhere in the world, but they care so much they really mean it. If I respond to that with a glib, "Good, how are you?" then suddenly I'm the jerk.

Anyway, the answer that usually comes out of my mouth is a wry "We're getting there!" with a big smile, hopefully conveying something along the lines of "It's shit, actually, but I'm keeping positive about the whole thing!" There used to be a (male) teacher at the school who always answered the question with, "Livin' the dream!" and I might try adopting that, since the more enthusiastically you say it, the more sarcastic it sounds.

[Glinda]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

I actually find it really hard to answer "good," because that's usually inaccurate. Not that everything's awful all the time, but life is just more complicated than that.

I know people aren't really asking, and it's as perfunctory as "how do you do?" or "have a nice day." But people around here--which is to say teachers, parents, mostly women when you get right down to it--say it with a certain emphasis, where they tilt their head to the side just a little, frown with their eyes but smile with their mouth, and say "how are you" or "how are you" as if to make it clear that, yes, this is a meaningless greeting elsewhere in the world, but they care so much they really mean it. If I respond to that with a glib, "Good, how are you?" then suddenly I'm the jerk.

Anyway, the answer that usually comes out of my mouth is a wry "We're getting there!" with a big smile, hopefully conveying something along the lines of "It's shit, actually, but I'm keeping positive about the whole thing!" There used to be a (male) teacher at the school who always answered the question with, "Livin' the dream!" and I might try adopting that, since the more enthusiastically you say it, the more sarcastic it sounds.

I don't remember where it came from, but there's something in my memory banks about humans just dropping the pretense of caring how someone is doing, because typically, "How are you doing?" is more of an acknowledgement of another human being than an actual, caring and concerned inquiry. The comedian (?) suggested we just stop that silliness, and simply say "acknowledge" when we pass a cow-orker in the hall or share an elevator with someone.

[Griff]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

I actually find it really hard to answer "good," because that's usually inaccurate. Not that everything's awful all the time, but life is just more complicated than that.

Exactly. Life is hard. I might be handling it right now but we could be off the rails in 10 seconds.

So Flint, how you doin?

[Flint]

Super!

not really, but I'm too much of a private person to disclose anything personal

...or...

rarely: just pathetically shrug and murmur something like, "meh"

and then regret allowing myself a public display of weakness

...or...

to very tangential acquaintances, in the hallway: "Good, good."

(I always pause and repeat, to challenge the assertion that it's grammatically incorrect)

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

… Anyway, the answer that usually comes out of my mouth is a wry "We're getting there!" with a big smile, hopefully conveying something along the lines of "It's shit, actually, but I'm keeping positive about the whole thing!" There used to be a (male) teacher at the school who always answered the question with, "Livin' the dream!" and I might try adopting that, since the more enthusiastically you say it, the more sarcastic it sounds.

My favorite reply, last used just a couple days ago, is "So far, so good." If I want to entertain the person asking, I'll say "So far, so good like in that old joke: On a beautiful spring day, people have their windows open to enjoy the fresh air when a man goes up on the roof of a ten story building and jumps off. As he's falling past the ninth floor, the eight floor, the seventh floor..., people inside could hear him saying, So far, so good. So far, so good."

My second favorite reply is adapted from the French. When they're asked the equivalent of "How's it going?", They reply "It goes." Likewise, my reply to "How are you doing?" becomes "I'm doin." (with a little *shrug*).

[Undertoad]

"Never had a bad day in my life"

[Urbane Guerrilla]

"Good enough not to overthink a social formula into exhaustion. And you?"

Micropassive-microaggressive, I suppose.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Instead of How you doing, say Hope you're doing well.