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Arts & Entertainment Give meaning to your life or distract you from it for a while |
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#121 |
Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
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(Re the SUV broad...) She's Professional Grade. Get used to it.
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#122 | |
hot
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Jeffersonville, IN (near Louisville)
Posts: 892
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Quote:
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#123 |
hot
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Jeffersonville, IN (near Louisville)
Posts: 892
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Damn, I just remembered some good Jesus jokes after posting about the Bible in the other thread...
<B>Q:</B> Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's? <B>A:</B> They keep falling through the holes in his hands. |
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#124 |
hot
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Jeffersonville, IN (near Louisville)
Posts: 892
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Jesus walks into an inn, throws three nails down on the counter, and says "can you put me up for the night?"
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#125 |
hot
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Jeffersonville, IN (near Louisville)
Posts: 892
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And my favorite one.. it's a visual joke, but at least you can tell it to others even if it's not funny written down:
<B>Q:</B> Why do all the chicks dig Jesus? <B>A:</B><I> (Stretch both hands outwards, like in a "fish that got away" pose).</I> Because he's hung like this. |
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#126 |
He who reads, sometimes writes.
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: at the keyboard
Posts: 791
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Why don't most guys like to eat vegetables?
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#127 | |
going nowhere slow
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: L.A.
Posts: 252
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Quote:
1. I created the lesbian in the joke therefore as HER creator I maintain that she is a lesbian who still believes that most, if not all men are meant to be controlled by women as mere fools. 2. The handy man smokes massive amounts of crack cocaine and, after passing the bong back and forth a few times she totaly forgets that she is a lesbian and then she does the handy man. She would try once again to remind herself somehow the next morning to once and for all screw the godamm thing in this time. It was a daily ritual that required very much memory and wind power until one day they both found themselves homeless and somewhat high on crack, and finally converted to solar. THE END? : ]
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"There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'. |
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#128 | |
in the Hour of Scampering
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Jeffersonville PA (15 mi NW of Philadelphia)
Posts: 4,060
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Quote:
<i>How many Centauri does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but in the great old days of the Republic hundreds of servants would leap to change a thousand lightbulbs at our slightest whim!</i>
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"Neither can his Mind be thought to be in Tune,whose words do jarre; nor his reason In frame, whose sentence is preposterous..." |
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#129 | |
in the Hour of Scampering
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Jeffersonville PA (15 mi NW of Philadelphia)
Posts: 4,060
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Quote:
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"Neither can his Mind be thought to be in Tune,whose words do jarre; nor his reason In frame, whose sentence is preposterous..." |
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#130 | |
going nowhere slow
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: L.A.
Posts: 252
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Quote:
:]
__________________
"There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'. |
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#131 | |
going nowhere slow
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: L.A.
Posts: 252
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Quote:
: ]
__________________
"There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'. |
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#132 | |
Strong Silent Type
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Fort Collins, CO
Posts: 1,949
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Quote:
~james |
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#133 | |
lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
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Quote:
__________________
![]() ![]() "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis |
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#134 | |
lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Quote:
A bong is a water-pipe used for smoking marijuana. Crack cocaine is smoked using a "stem" which does not contain a water chamber, and may be constructed of glass (for fancy upscale users) or the largest piece of a telescoping antenna (your basic, average, crack stole my life users). I have confiscated more antennas, although the cleverest version I saw came from a prisoner who had fashioned a combination shiv, potato peeler & crack stem in his spare time at the county correctional facility.
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![]() ![]() "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis |
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#135 | |
He who reads, sometimes writes.
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: at the keyboard
Posts: 791
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Quote:
Perth - I have that Shoe cartoon up on my wall. Good one! |
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