Sexually Ambiguous Words - Page 3

SteveDallas · 09-06-2007, 12:57 AM

Mrs. Dallas formerly managed a sheet music store that sub-let space from a piano store. I forget what was going on, but the upshot is that they needed some help and some equipment (cough) from the store's handyman. Mrs. Dallas' assistant manager called back to arrange for said assistance. He then hung up the phone and said to her, "Fred said he'll be here in a minute. He's got a really long pole that should do the job."

They just looked at each other for a minute and then cracked up.

Razzmatazz13 · 09-06-2007, 01:00 AM

This'n is a verbal one so I dunno if it counts...

Me at work: Oooh you might wanna double bag that...the caulk always tends to poke out.
Guy customer: *snort, supressed laughter*
Me: *grin* Yeah, it's always awful, seeing customers half across the parking lot with their caulk poking out.
Guy customer: *laughs*
Wife of guy customer: *oblivious* Wha? ...Wait, why are you laughing?!
Guy customer: Nothing. I'm being good. *more laughter*

I love working at a hardware store

Flint · 09-06-2007, 01:02 AM

Ward, don't you think you were a little hard on the Beaver?

Crimson Ghost · 09-06-2007, 02:25 AM

Overheard at a furniture store:
Look, when we get home, I'll stick it in and see if it fits.

And at a local hardware store:
Miss, what I'm looking for is a nice long screw.

jester · 09-06-2007, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cloud

I think that's single entendre there. Does it have a non-dirty meaning?

absolutely - it's like saying - What's going on?

jester · 09-06-2007, 09:58 AM

Since I work with alot "piping/plumbing" people vendors/employees, they are always talkin about "nipples" & "male/female" couplings. When I first started working here and heard that stuff, I was like wtf?

SteveDallas · 09-06-2007, 12:19 PM

Do they ever stop talking and just lay some pipe?

lumberjim · 09-06-2007, 12:37 PM

I may have posted this, but it applies.

Me, at Outback curbside takeaway:

The server dude is a little....a lot....flamboyant. He runs in and out of there like a happy little running faggot....

anyway....and i know he does this on purpose....he always offers to "put it in the back door"

referring to the big bag of food...but he doesn't need the word 'door', does he?

i bet he gets a lot of dates that way

barefoot serpent · 09-06-2007, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

when you spot an inuendo

Hey fella, in your end-o

HungLikeJesus · 09-06-2007, 09:15 PM

I found myself at a table full of food during happy hour at a new bar. I said to the waitress who was serving, "Five minutes ago the line was out the door and now there's no one here." And she replied, "Yeah, my customers come in spurts."

JuancoRocks · 09-06-2007, 11:33 PM

Mattress salesman.....

"A little bit 'o me comes with every mattress you buy"

DucksNuts · 09-07-2007, 12:33 AM

So, this cute wholesaler that I deal with all the time, always closes our phone calls with....

"Ok, you keep in touch with yourself now"

jinx · 09-07-2007, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

He runs in and out of there like a happy little running faggot....

Godspeed thru Texas, faggot...

wolf · 09-07-2007, 02:16 AM

I was having a conversation at work.

Someone who had a pseudo-relation to my family was admitted, and some comments were made about the patient's dad's name. I explained the origin of what was actually a nickname, and in the course of the anecdote, I explained the situation ... they had both worked for the same well-known local confectionery company.

wolf: My uncle was the Master Baker, see.

cow orker: Master Baker? So was the nut's dad a big Master Baker too?

wolf: No, he was just a Pie Driver. My uncle was the Master Baker. My Grandfather was a Master Baker also. It runs in the family.

queequeger · 09-07-2007, 01:42 PM

Kum and Go: We Go All Out!

09-06-2007, 01:00 AM	#32
Razzmatazz13 Vicariously, I live... Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,221	This'n is a verbal one so I dunno if it counts... Me at work: Oooh you might wanna double bag that...the caulk always tends to poke out. Guy customer: snort, supressed laughter Me: grin Yeah, it's always awful, seeing customers half across the parking lot with their caulk poking out. Guy customer: laughs Wife of guy customer: oblivious Wha? ...Wait, why are you laughing?! Guy customer: Nothing. I'm being good. more laughter I love working at a hardware store __________________ I have some people I need to have smoted. ~ SteveDallas

09-06-2007, 01:02 AM	#33
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	Ward, don't you think you were a little hard on the Beaver? __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

09-06-2007, 02:25 AM	#34
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	Overheard at a furniture store: Look, when we get home, I'll stick it in and see if it fits. And at a local hardware store: Miss, what I'm looking for is a nice long screw. __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

09-06-2007, 12:37 PM	#38
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	I may have posted this, but it applies. Me, at Outback curbside takeaway: The server dude is a little....a lot....flamboyant. He runs in and out of there like a happy little running faggot.... anyway....and i know he does this on purpose....he always offers to "put it in the back door" referring to the big bag of food...but he doesn't need the word 'door', does he? i bet he gets a lot of dates that way __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

09-06-2007, 09:15 PM	#40
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	I found myself at a table full of food during happy hour at a new bar. I said to the waitress who was serving, "Five minutes ago the line was out the door and now there's no one here." And she replied, "Yeah, my customers come in spurts." __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

09-06-2007, 12:57 AM	#31
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Mrs. Dallas formerly managed a sheet music store that sub-let space from a piano store. I forget what was going on, but the upshot is that they needed some help and some equipment (cough) from the store's handyman. Mrs. Dallas' assistant manager called back to arrange for said assistance. He then hung up the phone and said to her, "Fred said he'll be here in a minute. He's got a really long pole that should do the job." They just looked at each other for a minute and then cracked up.

09-06-2007, 09:58 AM	#36
jester why so serious Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,712	Since I work with alot "piping/plumbing" people vendors/employees, they are always talkin about "nipples" & "male/female" couplings. When I first started working here and heard that stuff, I was like wtf?

09-06-2007, 12:19 PM	#37
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Do they ever stop talking and just lay some pipe?

09-06-2007, 11:33 PM	#41
JuancoRocks Sir Post-A-Lot Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Paradise Valley, Arizona Posts: 437	Sexually Ambiguous Words Mattress salesman..... "A little bit 'o me comes with every mattress you buy" __________________ "That's just like your opinion man"

09-07-2007, 12:33 AM	#42
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	So, this cute wholesaler that I deal with all the time, always closes our phone calls with.... "Ok, you keep in touch with yourself now"

09-07-2007, 02:16 AM	#44
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I was having a conversation at work. Someone who had a pseudo-relation to my family was admitted, and some comments were made about the patient's dad's name. I explained the origin of what was actually a nickname, and in the course of the anecdote, I explained the situation ... they had both worked for the same well-known local confectionery company. wolf: My uncle was the Master Baker, see. cow orker: Master Baker? So was the nut's dad a big Master Baker too? wolf: No, he was just a Pie Driver. My uncle was the Master Baker. My Grandfather was a Master Baker also. It runs in the family. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

09-07-2007, 01:42 PM	#45
queequeger Hypercharismatic Telepathical Knight Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The armpit of the Universe... Augusta, GA Posts: 365	Kum and Go: We Go All Out! __________________ Hoocha, hoocha, hoocha... lobster.

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